Why do aliens come to Earth? by Moomin

Here are some interesting thoughts about superheroes, their equipment, and their friends. For instance, you know how Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, and he inserts this giant key into a giant keyhole. What I wonder is: why someone doesn’t just crawl through the giant keyhole? That thing is just about as tall as a normal man.

Also, another thing. I think that a sidekick’s sole purpose is mostly just to say, “Gee jiminy jinkers!” and “Leaping lionfish’ and other ridiculous exclamations like that. Oh, they occasionally help the superhero, and they sometimes get kidnapped, but that’s mostly why there are sidekicks. It makes one wonder why some idiotic comic book writers would even bother.

Then there’s Jimmy Olsen. Let me list most of the things that happen to him. He has grown 6 arms, got a shape-shifting head, turned into a Jupitarian, a Wolfman, an incredibly fat boy, Elasticlad, the human porcupine, Bizarro Jimmy, the cosmic brain, Jimmy the Genie, a giant turtle man, and he has an identity in Kandor, the shrunken Kryptonian city, as Flamebird, a kind of copy of Robin, you might say. Oh yes, he also accidentally got mutated into some kind of freak with a 1 foot long tongue, hair all over his face, and an incredibly round balloon body. Luckily this was only temporary, as were all the other transformations. But the point is, why does everything happen to Jimmy Olsen? And why does Superman always leave so many chemicals and rayguns along with Jimmy figuring that they’ll be safe in THIS guy’s hands? I mean, it seems in every single Superman comic every single freak guy or super device or potion seems to slap down on Jimmy Olsen. It’s kind of ridiculous.

Why exactly do all the aliens seem to come to Earth? Or, more specifically, superheroes of Earth or invasions of Earth? I’m not entirely sure about this but I think there are two reasons. One, we infest the planet. There are billions of us all over the planet and we keep reproducing. Very big harvest for aliens! Also, according to these comics, there is a ridiculously large amount of superpowered people here. Something that confuses me is why aliens would come to these people — seeing as there are probably other people who could do the same sorts of tasks? For example, once aliens apparently tried coming to Aquaman for his assistance in getting some kind of essential device underwater. Their excuse was that these aliens could not live in salt water. But you’d think there’d be other aliens around there who could live underwater.

That’s pretty much all I have to say. Please send any interesting answers or opinions if you have any. Thanks — Moomin.