Thundertail! she meowed

I read a bunch of Moomin’s books while I was sick, including ones I’d rejected before for being annoying. After a couple of those Warriors books about housecat clans in a forest, I got kind of excited about writing a Warriors filter for text or some stupid clan name generators. For the filter, just replace any variant of “said” with “meowed”. Add in a sentence now and then about what the characters are doing with their tail or ears, and some StarClan related invocations of the sacred.

Book cover for Warriors

There’s got to be a role playing game for this, right? Even if there isn’t, I’m going to have to make one up and run a campaign just so I can enjoy everyone being named things like Snowpaw and Startail.

The very annoying thing about these books is that there’s just no way that all these packs of cats could live in a patch of forest outside a housing development somewhere. A few cats, okay, but these clans pile up a delicious, bloody heap of “freshkill” every single day as if voles and rabbits and starlings were inexhaustible.

On a more meta level the plots depend on characters not telling anyone about the weird prophecies or visions they’re experiencing or about some dangerous anomaly. Just like Harry Potter! But with cats. Then, there seems to be a fairly grotesque idea of the role of gods and religion. The cat gods send confusing visions on purpose to confuse and test the faith of the tribes. Grrrrrrreat. I’d tell the StarClan to shove it!

One of the very amusing things is how the tribal cats sneer at the domestic cats. “Kittypet” is a terrible insult!

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