Why do aliens come to Earth? by Moomin

Here are some interesting thoughts about superheroes, their equipment, and their friends. For instance, you know how Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, and he inserts this giant key into a giant keyhole. What I wonder is: why someone doesn’t just crawl through the giant keyhole? That thing is just about as tall as a normal man.

Superman with a giant key

Also, another thing. I think that a sidekick’s sole purpose is mostly just to say, “Gee jiminy jinkers!” and “Leaping lionfish’ and other ridiculous exclamations like that. Oh, they occasionally help the superhero, and they sometimes get kidnapped, but that’s mostly why there are sidekicks. It makes one wonder why some idiotic comic book writers would even bother.

Then there’s Jimmy Olsen. Let me list most of the things that happen to him. He has grown 6 arms, got a shape-shifting head, turned into a Jupitarian, a Wolfman, an incredibly fat boy, Elasticlad, the human porcupine, Bizarro Jimmy, the cosmic brain, Jimmy the Genie, a giant turtle man, and he has an identity in Kandor, the shrunken Kryptonian city, as Flamebird, a kind of copy of Robin, you might say. Oh yes, he also accidentally got mutated into some kind of freak with a 1 foot long tongue, hair all over his face, and an incredibly round balloon body. Luckily this was only temporary, as were all the other transformations. But the point is, why does everything happen to Jimmy Olsen? And why does Superman always leave so many chemicals and rayguns along with Jimmy figuring that they’ll be safe in THIS guy’s hands? I mean, it seems in every single Superman comic every single freak guy or super device or potion seems to slap down on Jimmy Olsen. It’s kind of ridiculous.

Why exactly do all the aliens seem to come to Earth? Or, more specifically, superheroes of Earth or invasions of Earth? I’m not entirely sure about this but I think there are two reasons. One, we infest the planet. There are billions of us all over the planet and we keep reproducing. Very big harvest for aliens! Also, according to these comics, there is a ridiculously large amount of superpowered people here. Something that confuses me is why aliens would come to these people — seeing as there are probably other people who could do the same sorts of tasks? For example, once aliens apparently tried coming to Aquaman for his assistance in getting some kind of essential device underwater. Their excuse was that these aliens could not live in salt water. But you’d think there’d be other aliens around there who could live underwater.

That’s pretty much all I have to say. Please send any interesting answers or opinions if you have any. Thanks — Moomin.

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8 Responses to Why do aliens come to Earth? by Moomin

  1. Boobka says:

    I haven't read many comic books but I have read some and it is implied that this kind of thing happens on every planet in the universe we just happened to have what happens on earth chronicled.

  2. Luke says:

    GEEK POWERS ACTIVATE!
    Let's go through these:

    Superman's keyhole: actually, people HAVE entered through the keyhole (including a powerless Superman). Be careful if you try- it's booby trapped!

    Sidekicks: in the story, there can be many reasons for a sidekick. He might be an orphan that the hero identifies with (Batman and Dick Grayson Robin). He might have impressed the hero with an amazing feat (Jason Todd actually stole the tires off the Batmobile. Tim Drake figured out his secret identity). He might be a co-worker (Jimmy Olsen). He might have been bonded to the hero (Rick Jones and Captain Marvel). He might have caused the existence of the hero (Rick Jones gain, this time with the Hulk). But the real reasons for sidekicks are outside the story. Sidekicks give the hero someone to talk to, to argue with, and to tell the details of his plan (so the reader can know it, too).

    Jimmy is often Superman-adjacent, so he gets caught in the weirdness crossfire a lot. It's not all directly from Superman, though- Jimmy is some sort of weirdness magnet. I mean, Lois is around Superman more than Jimmy, and I'm pretty sure she's never been turned into a giant turtle.

    Why do aliens come here: There are different in-story excuses. The big one is that Earth is supposedly right on a major space-thoroughfare, or is some other nexus of universes/time/space. THe real reason is that we're on Earth, and writers (rightly) believe that people are more likely to be interested in a story that they can connect to their real-world experiences.

  3. Luke says:

    Another thing with the big key: Frank Quitely played with it in All-Star Superman. Instead of a giant key, it was normal-sized… but so heavy that only Superman could lift it!

  4. Chris Hall says:

    What I wonder is: why someone doesn’t just crawl through the giant keyhole? That thing is just about as tall as a normal man.

    More to the point, why would you risk pissing off a guy who can crush coal into diamonds by breaking into his home? It's just asking for trouble.

  5. Vidiot says:

    Sidekicks are stand-ins for the audience, as Luke mentions above. They bring the reader into the story and are a good way for the hero to interact with the reader in a more direct way.

  6. Jinian says:

    Doctor Who talks about the "why Earth?" issue some, because like you're saying ALL the aliens want to mess with Earth, and there are millions of inhabited planets, so what's their problem? Some of the main villains say they're doing it just to bug the Doctor! (But why does the Doctor like Earth so much?)

    I just read a book called The Rise of Renegade X that you might like, about a world where when kids turns 16 they can become a superhero or supervillain, or maybe there's a third option… The main sidekick is an inventor girl who pesters the main character to fight crime with her when he doesn't want to.

  7. Eli says:

    "[W]hy does everything happen to Jimmy Olsen?"

    This question is answered by your next question:

    "And why does Superman always leave so many chemicals and rayguns along with Jimmy figuring that they’ll be safe in THIS guy’s hands?"

    Because, based on past experience, Superman knows that Jimmy can survive all those things happening to him and still be just fine. If not for Jimmy, those things would have happened to some normal person who wouldn't be so lucky!

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