correlations

As I get busier and more irritable, Moomin behaves worse to get attention. This should not be news to anyone but let it be a lesson to me in the obvious… pay real attention to my kid… it’s good for him and makes him wonderful and sweet and happy. For a few days I have been ignoring him completely while he reads comic books and then any time we interact it’s just me telling him to put his shoes on QUICK or me making him dinner or making him do homework. That’s no fun! Then he’s rude! Then I yell at him for being rude! Those boss-mom moments are way easier when I’m friend-mom most of the other times. I have to be less “busy”. Obviously the final push to finish the thesis will be hard, though.

Today was a super long day of hard thought and work. At 10pm my head exploded from ideas and wrassling them into form and order and linearity. It was like building a battleship out of jello. It’s REALLY GOOD JELLO, that stuff in my brain, but hard to keep the rivets in. A ton of writing on my thesis, so that now it’s too long. Then a long hot bath with a very stupid book, CS Forester book about some africans in a forest and it might be just too bad and racist to keep reading. Serena’s “aura cleansing” bath salts and a glass of hot milk with cognac in it… I know that sounds gross but I can’t deal with the alcohol b/c of my lingering stomach problems. Then watched Lathe of Heaven with Rook which was way overstimulating and then a long awesome-juicy-ideas email from T. which made my day, but also is making it hard to sleep because now I’m still THINKING.

Must! turn! off! brain! I used to be like this all the time and so.. insomnia. Come to me, little sleeping pill that might destroy me someday… I need you. My life is so much better these past few years, because of reliable sleep.

By the way.. my knee is much better (another reason I need sleep – to heal it up.) I walked down the hill at Moomin’s school today with only a little caution.

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