blowing it at the birthday party

ice cream scoop of dooooooom
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

I’m at SuperT‘s kid’s birthday party, and the kids are making animal masks out of paper plates. It’s Hamster’s 6th birthday and he’s still pretending to be a cheetah every day.

A party well prepared for and executed by a marvellous creative mom!

Meanwhile, I’m having fancy imported-from-Texas Andersen’s coffee, the kind they serve at Kerbey Lane, and SuperT admonishes her husband to “quit fondling the ice cream scoop”. She turned her back, I grabbed the scoop and gave it a sexy 5-second blow job, nearly making Hamster’s dad pee his pants with laughter. SuperT missed the whole thing.

Then as the Hillsburgh (fancypants! rich!) moms filtered in… I turned to one and was like, “Man, look at this, don’t these glue sticks look weirdly like… tampons?” She looked at me blankly, gasped, and finally said, “Um! Yes! I guess they … Do!”

I’m just way too punchy for this party! I don’t know what hit me. It’s SuperT’s bad influence, she’s the most potty mouthed armpit-farting mom I know.

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