Moomin and Hamster played “dragonslayers” all afternoon. I was on the phone a lot with my mom, because my grandma fell, and had apparently been in a chair all night not able to walk, but too full of pride to go to the hospital, not admitting anything was wrong. The phone calls flew… everyone was kind of mad at everyone else… All tensions came to the fore. I am afraid I was not very “there” for Moomin and Hamster. “Mom I need tape!” “You know where to find it.” “Moomin’s mom, um, Badger! Where is the tinfoil!” “You guys can move chairs around in the kitchen and look in the cabinets. Improvise. I’m too busy.”
The crisis resolved somewhat when my mom made my grandfather call 911 for an ambulance. The depth of what was going on is just impossible to explain. My grandma is home now with some pain meds and a swollen hip, but no fracture.
In the evening I went to pick up Sophie and Eliz. from Squid‘s house, where Iz tried to make me take a stick of electric shock fake gum. I refused after she asked me if I were under 14, over 50, or had a pacemaker. OMG the mystery – how did I know!
On the ride back I enjoyed the kids saying that I had a “cool car”! We rolled down the windows and blasted the music, feeling deliciously naughty. We all described the ultimate cool car: this would be like a pimped-out James Bond Batmobile Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with a very loud thumping stereo. I deliberately drove past Eliz’s school while blasting The Ramones’ “Beat on the Brat”. She stuck out her tongue at the school. All very proper. I’m a good influence!
Eliz. then bossed us all around until we behaved appropriately to be the audience to her magic show, which lasted almost an hour. Sophie sang all the way through in a horrid off-key voice to the tune of “Oh What a Beautiful Morning”. Here is a sample verse that I ran in the house to write down:
I am a beautiful fat belly
i am a beautiful brain!
i am the beautiful guts of you,
i am a beautiful PAIN (in the neck)
Feats of memory (card tricks) and sleight of hand – Eliz was a good magician! I heard she’s teaching magic to the other kids for half an hour every day at her summer camp – the counselors figured out they could use her and it gives them a break! Everyone is so proud of her around here!
Now we’re watching Star Wars. More popsicles administered. I confess that during the pre-movie chaos, I meanly yelled “SHUT UP. EVERYONE, SHUT UP. Sophie, shut up.” Dead stop on all sides. Four children looked at me with their mouths open. “Why did you… how come you… you said ‘shut up’… to me… ” Sophie said as if in shock. “Because I’m rude.” “Oh.” *silence*
Yow! It worked! I’m a magician too!
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