Super Evil Flying Pecker Beaver

When I’m working so well and so smoothly it pains me to stop for anything. I eat while working, and … I confess with the whole laptop wireless thing… I have been known to pee with laptop perched… I can hear you laughing but also bet that some of you have done it.

So I helped Moomin with his homework a bit, and called around to see if I could find him a playdate, and couldn’t, and worked some more while he played with his new toys, and then… had to stop working around 4:30 or 5 to play with him and pay real attention.

“These four dragons are super dragons, and this is their cave, and they used to be the pets of the Fantastic Four, but now have their own superdragon city that they protect… You be this one, his name is Captain Freeze, and he’s an Antarctic dragon who has powers over ice. He rides in this flying ship made of ice.”

As the flying ship made of ice was actually a silver-glitter covered bowler hat from the costume shop… you can imagine how funny…

“This bird is the supervillain. And his name is Flying Pecker.”

*muffled choking noises from me* “Um. Flying Pecker. Um, okay. Heh. *snort*. Um. How about if we call him, ‘Rocket Beak’ or something.”

“What? No. His name is FLYING PECKER, Mom. Why can’t I call him Flying Pecker?”

“Oh… um… okay… his name is Flying Pecker…”

“And this beaver is called Super Evil Beaver.”

*in which I have an asthma attack from the suppression of laughter*

“So, Super Evil Beaver and Flying Pecker are attacking the city…”

I played for a while and then stopped paying total attention. He built a lego star wars thing from a kit, with occasional help, while I tried to clean and organize all his toys on the shelves and in the little plastic bins. For months all the tiny bits of Stuff have been thrown into bins to be sorted later. A painful job… I got halfway done… The lego thing was abandoned.. it was back to the dragon cave.

“Here Mom. You play this one. His name is Super Snake Dragon.”

“Oh. Okay. He has power over all kinds of snakes. And he likes to romp and frisk around, but in a crowd he’s kind of shy even though he’s a super dragon.”

“No! No, actually. No, Mom. He’s not shy. He’s a super dragon. He’s MIGHTY. He can’t ever be shy, and he doesn’t frisk. He stands there and looks proud, and he’s very strong. He goes like this *stands with chest thrust out, dragonishly* …. and he calls the snakes to him.”

Damn. I remember the pain of having one’s stuffed animals given the wrong personality by clueless, foolish grownups or other kids. It was just as bad as when some asshole would punch one’s animal, or threaten it with the washing machine. Outrage would make me nearly want to vomit as some well-meaning teasy Giant would hold my sad, fragile hermit princess whale just out of my reach and make her clown around and fly through the air and talk all wrong… Oh, it was terrible! So I respect Moomin’s bossiness with his toys though I know Rook thinks he should be trained to be mentally flexible and not get upset about such things.

So after I forced him to help me put away toys for about 3 minutes… to the tune of some whining and my snapping that he is big enough to take care of his things…

I read him the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle story about Hubert who never cleaned up his toys. Let’s see if that has any effect!

P.S. I never want to see another lego as long as I live. My god, all the tiny little bits!