cranky mom, airplanes

I swear I’m not making this up. Just now in Amelia’s in Deadwood, I was eating dinner with Minnie, Rook, Moomin, and our friend R. from San Diego. Two guys came up to us and said “OMG are you the founder of” They were all excited! I explained that my t-shirt was swag from sxsw from a party. And they were still quite starry-eyed as they explained that they thought that site was the best thing ever and were all excited to meet me if I were the “woman behind”. Doesn’t it sound like I’m making it up?

Fucking weird!

Speaking of my brilliant parenting and my beautiful soul… I was a total cranky bitch today. I’m exhausted, Moomin whined all yesterday and fell (whinily) asleep in my lap on the plane so that I couldn’t barely move or get up to go to the bathroom. I suffered like a martyr. My sciatica returned full-blast to remind me why I used to be crippled. Then the seat-kicking bitch behind me got up to let someone past her, and stood in the aisle next to me talking very loudly about her boring, nasty life… get this, at 11pm when all the people around her were trying to sleep (I was reading, in desperate attempt to escape from my sordid existence.) Finally I asked her, not too politely though not with swears, to be quieter so that she wouldn’t wake up my kid. Heroism in action… as I’m sure the dozing people around me appreciated it to the extent they were conscious…

Then I had to carry 3 bags plus the sleeping Moomin off the plane. A mixture of coaxing and carrying, all through the airport… Mentally I was talking myself down at the thought that Rook would probably be waiting for us somewhere inconvenient and far away… And was pre-pissed off, and pre-forgiving him for this as best I could. But then! There he was! Right at the soonest place possible at the security checkpoint! He was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen… Moomin ran to him; very dramatic hug, frankly Rook hammed it up with wide open arms. I think a field of daisies sprang into being right there in the airport. But I was damned cranky. And all today I’ve felt like a giant bitch… Moomin still constipated and whiny, all afternoon… and then I persuaded Minnie to come over, why, I don’t know, so that she could see us at our worst? I forgot that our friend was staying over, too. In the restaurant, where, for a moment, I was a false celebrity to two extremely cute squirrely-tailed young geek guys – I was bitchy toeveryone! Then I bitched some more! Then I sternly told Moomin for the 49 thousandth time to quit whining and sit up in his chair. Then I refused to pay attention to him when he needed it. Then I ill-naturedly blamed his whining on my own mom. Oh, why did I say that! How unjust!

Instead of recognizing that *I* was also cranky and tired.. and so was he… and that we were jet lagged… Now I’m hiding in my room with my blog because I’m too cranky to deal with any discussion of our Buffy game. In fact I’m too cranky for anything! I’ve gone to bed at 2 or 3am all this last week. I’m tailspinning a bit about this, and my thesis, and all my undone projects. It was hard to be so social for so long this week! Usually I spend most of every day alone with books and computer.

Sleep will fix all this! Tomorrow I’ll be conquering the universe again.

Just had to get that off my chest.

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