How to talk to a kid

Some grownups don’t know how. Here is a fine example.

Moomin: Excuse me? I would just like to tell you, um… Do you want to hear about my tooth?
Squid: Yes! I would love to hear about your tooth.
Moomin: Well, do you know how I lost it?
Squid: No, how did you lose it?
Moomin: I lost it in my cereal!!!!!
Squid: What kind of cereal?
Moomin: Honey Nut Cheerios.
Squid: Hahaha!
Moomin: Hahaaha!
Squid: Iz lost her tooth in crunchy peanut butter and she thought it was a piece of a peanut and she swallowed it.
Moomin: Ew!!!!
Me: Did she poop it out again?
Moomin: Ewwwwwww!!!!!
Squid: I’m sure she did.
Moomin: Tooth poop!

The genius-like touch is when Squid asked “What kind of cereal?” It showed she was listening and cared about the interesting particulars of the situation.

You should not copy me and start up the poop conversation. I was just trying extra hard to be popular because I’m stuck in bed and am really boring to kids at the moment. But if you start it you’ll regret it. It’ll never stop! Someone will start mooning you, and you’ll have to get mad.

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8 Responses to How to talk to a kid

  1. Nicole says:

    This reminds me of Sarah Vowell's lesson in small talk – why she hates it and how it really should be done. Funny 🙂

  2. Allen says:

    I am chubby and I dont like it

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