Free in the sea!

Tonight while we were reading 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea we got to one of my favorite parts of the book. Captain Nemo gave a little speech about how much he loves the sea, where he’s free from unjust laws. He totally waxes poetic in the fancy dining room of the Nautilus. It was like hanging around the Ephemerisle crowd who dream of establishing a utopian community on the water. But in 1866 and in a giant submarine run by a scary dictator.

Apocaisle

“You like the sea, Captain?”

“Yes; I love it! The sea is everything. It covers seven-tenths of the terrestrial globe. Its breath is pure and healthy. It is an immense desert, where man is never lonely, for he feels life stirring on all sides. The sea is only the embodiment of a supernatural and wonderful existence. It is nothing but love and emotion; it is the ‘Living Infinite’, as one of your poets has said. In fact, Professor, Nature manifests herself in it by her three kingdoms, mineral, vegetable, and animal. The sea is the vast reservoir of Nature. The globe began with sea, so to speak; and who knows if it will not end with it? In it is supreme tranquility. The sea does not belong to despots. Upon its surface men can still exercise unjust laws, fight, tear one another to pieces, and be carried away with terrestrial horrors. But at thirty feet below its level, their reign ceases, their influence is quenched, and their power disappears. Ah! Sir, live- live in the bosom of the waters! There only is independence! There I recognize no masters! There I am free!”

During this bit of the book, Moomin got out all his oceanic stuffed animals and started making them pretend-swim around like they were really happy. Never mind that Captain Nemo was giving his speech through a big mouthful of turtle soup and dolphin livers. The stuffed turtles and rays and manatee were all having a disco party. I paused and we made up some songs where the animals were singing “Freeee….. we’re FREE! In the SEA!!!!!” while doing a fake underwater funk ballet to the tune of “Think” by Aretha Franklin.

Milo at Sea World

Last week I was super sick and ended up in the ER, then in bed for days and didn’t see Moomin at all. Then today I was a lot better and went to a picnic where all my friends’ kids were playing in the park and I missed him a lot. So it was especially nice to come home and though we just had a little time before bed, we had fun… Tomorrow will be even better, I hope!

Posted in Boats!, Books, Creativity | Tagged , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Best New Wave Songs for Kids

Okay, I agree. Rock Lobster is New Wave, not punk even though I put it in my list of the best punk rock songs for kids. Fine. And I don’t get to be punk if I wasn’t tearing up the mosh pits in some specific location in 1979. Rather than argue about punk rock authenticity, I’m making a list of the best new wave songs for kids. They should be cheerful and danceable. And they should be songs that would get you beat up in middle school in 1982 in Texas especially if you put gel in your hair and had it swoop down over one eye. (They called us “wetheads”.)

my friends under the stairs

Make your kid a “mix tape” themed CD or flash drive with these new wave songs, or play them in the car. They’re good songs for driving or for a kids’ party. This list of songs is also great for watching the original music videos on YouTube with your kids! For each song on the list, I’ll link out to the downloadable Amazon mp3s and for some, will link to their YouTube videos.

The Best New Wave Songs for Kids

A-ha – Take On Me | Take On Me music video (the best!)
Modern English – I Melt With You | music video
XTC – Senses Working Overtime
Howard Jones – Things Can Only Get Better | music video
Bow Wow Wow – I Want Candy | music video (YEAH!!!)
The Cure – The Lovecats
Depeche Mode – People Are People and New Life
Adam Ant – Goody Two Shoes | music video – hilarious!
Nena – 99 Luftballons. I got so sick of this song. But it has aged well! | The music video is so full of drama.
M – Pop Muzik (Devo Remix) I couldn’t find the original, but here’s the original music video and a link to buy a Devo remix.
Devo – Whip It (or Working In The Coal Mine)
New Order – Dream Attack
Pet Shop Boys – I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind Of Thing
Tom Tom Club – Genius Of Love (Album Version)
Psychedelic Furs – Love My Way
General Public – Tenderness | music video (My… they’re good looking. I had no idea.)
Ash Wednesday – Love by Numbers This song is new wave, velvet-undergroundy, twee, and nerdy all at once. Good for little kids to pogo while chanting random numbers.

Those are all great for little kids. Once your child hits upper middle or high school then you can lay the more depressing moody new wave on them, and the songs with swears in them. These are good if your child is angry, sad, and brooding over great wrongs.

The Best New Wave Songs for Teenagers

The Smiths – These Things Take Time (and the entire Hatful of Hollow album)
Pretty much all other Depeche Mode, Cure, Smiths, and New Order albums
Laibach – The Final Countdown
OMD – If You Leave
Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart
Echo and the Bunnymen – Killing Moon and Lips Like Sugar
Siouxsie and the Banshees – Dear Prudence
Shriekback – Gunning for the Buddha and All Lined Up
Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun, Kiss Off, and Add It Up. This (Violent Femmes) is one of the best albums ever.

Me with pink hair in 1986:
pink hair, 1986

And here’s the haircut I gave myself this weekend! It’s asymmetrical 80s nostalgia day every day in my head – and on my head… Me and Cyndi Lauper are still totally BFF!

lounging on picnic blanket

What would you put on this list of new wave music for little kids and teenagers? It’s definitely missing Culture Club, Wham, and other bands and songs that are borderline pop music, like stuff by the Go-Gos or Katrina and the Waves.

If you liked this post you might also like Best Punk Rock Songs for Kids!

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Games: How to Play “Car”

When my sister and I were little, I made up a really good game called “Car”. We played it again the other day with her 3 year old son who is the perfect age for it. To play Car, the bigger person should lie face down on the floor or a bed. They’re the Car! The Car’s arms are her doors. So, to let the driver get in, stick out your arm. When we played this game in the mid to late 1970s, car doors were just starting to make a little electronic alarm sound when they were left open. Stick out your arm and say “ding ding ding” or “beep beep beep.” The driver should then get into the car by sitting on your butt, facing backwards. Remind your driver to close the door!

playing "car"

Your feet are the steering wheel. Tell the driver to start the car and hold the steering wheel. Now steer all over the place! Swerve! Basically, move your feet around wildly (or as steered) while making vroom noises.

The best part of this game is making the door pop open. Put down your feet and refuse to vroom. Make an annoying beeping noise until the driver closes the door. Then pop open the other door. This can go on for a while until you’re laughing really hard.

At some point you will need to crash the car, dumping out the kid. You might also get a flat tire. They can get out and fix your tires for a while.

So if you need a game where you get to just lie on the floor and make some funny noises, this is very amusing and if your driver doesn’t bounce too much, it can be a nice rest. It will hurt your back less if the driver sits more on your legs than on your mid-back. And don’t expect to gain any dignity points during this process.

playing "car"

It was hilarious watching our kids play Car last weekend. All the grownups who had physical stamina (not me, and not Oblomovka…) had a turn being the Car. When my sister and I played it, she was probably around 3 or 4, and I would have been 8 or 9. We played a lot of games like this, that didn’t need any special equipment or a lot of room and that must have been extremely funny for the grownups to watch. I might just blog all the made-up games I can remember!

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Plants vs. Zombies cake

Moomin has been playing Plants Vs. Zombies this summer and will explain all the levels and what powers the plants have to anyone who will listen. This last weekend a friend of mine made a Plants vs. Zombies cake!

Plants vs. Zombies cake

Plants vs. Zombies is a great strategy game that starts out simple, so that even a very young child can play it. In fact, it’s a game that trains you how to play it as you play, without any awkward tutorials. It’s playable for kids who can’t read yet, but it has subtle enough strategy to be interesting for gamer nerd adults like me. I’ve played it on the iPad and iPod and Moomin’s played on the desktop and iPad versions. The iPod one is very good, though the game board is so small.

Plants vs. Zombies battle scene

The basic premise is that zombies are coming across your lawn to get in your house and eat your brains. Using sunlight that falls from the sky or is generated from sunflowers, you plant seeds in your lawn. The resulting plants fight the zombies!

Moomin and I imagined it would be great to have a costume party for Plants vs. Zombies. The people at the party would re-enact a battle. We could do a reenactment like his pirate cannonball party, where we threw painted ping-pong balls at each other. For a Plants vs. Zombies party, we’d need a few gross of ping pong balls painted green for the pea-shooter peas so useful for zombie destruction. It would be easy to dress in zombie costumes, with torn clothes and props from the game – there is a zombie with a traffic cone on its head, one with a bucket, and one with a screen door shield. Food for the party could be peas, corn on the cob, walnuts, potatoes, salad, and other things related to the game!

You can see that the Plants vs. Zombies cake is just perfect. The plants and zombies are made of painted marzipan. It was chocolate cake to represent the dirt, green frosting that looks like it was squeezed out of a pastry bag with holes in it to make the grass, blue frosting for the pool, and of course the marzipan figures. A few coffee beans are scattered on top. White chocolate squares are the tiled patio of the backyard.

Moomin was so excited by this cake he could hardly eat it. Our teenaged neighbors, who are total Plants vs. Zombies addicts, also thought it was amazing. Moomin had the great idea that cotton candy could be added on the far right side on the cake to represent the fog levels of the game!

Plants vs. Zombies cake

I would not really be able to pull off this cake. I’m too much of a slob. My magnum opus is the dinosaurs coming out of a volcano cake, because for this, it doesn’t matter if your cake is all cracked and crumbling and half falling apart, you just make a sheet cake and a smaller round cake, stick them together, slather on a lot of green and chocolate frosting for the volcano, red frosting for the lava, stick plastic dinosaurs on top and you’re done.

Posted in Creativity, Parties! | Tagged , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Punk Rock Dish Towels

While I was on vacation in the UK I wanted to find the perfect kitschy souvenir. It should be the equivalent of a china teacup that says “Memento of Lyme Regis”, but should be something you would buy in Hot Topic. I imagined that somewhere in London I might find a completely ridiculous tea towel or dish towel printed with album covers by The Smiths or the Sex Pistols. Instead, I found dishtowels with mummies on them from the British Museum, and tea towels commemorating the Battle of Britain from Walton-on-the-Naze. What does it take to get a punk rock tea towel!?

When I got back, my sister Minnie (Thank You For Not Being Perky and Indie Craft Gossip ) had made me punk rock tea towels by creating custom fabric with Spoonflower!

punk rock tea towels

One is a Sex Pistols 2010 calendar and the other has a photo of the Queen with a safety pin through her nose. You can buy them from Spoonflower or make your own. I now can wrap loaves of bread in the Queen’s face or wipe the table with Sid Vicious. The towels look hilarious hung up in the kitchen.

English muffins

Anyway, why confine semi-ironic retro-hipster album images to things like tshirts and skateboard stickers? Put them on places they have absolutely no business being. There should also be retro postcards in this series of nostalgic music for Gen X dorkwads. For example, the “Welcome to Sunny L.A.” postcard and dishtowel would have a picture of The Runaways rather than some orange trees and the Hollywood sign. We don’t have to limit it to punk or new wave, either. We could have general pop culture souvenirs, like giant pencils with pictures of Lady Gaga’s greatest videos, or fridge magnets depicting Janet Jackson’s nipple slip at the Super Bowl. There should also be lolcat dishtowels. I’m waiting! Get busy, crafters!

Back to the “Battle of Britain” dishtowel. That one boggled my mind. It has little airplanes all over the map of Britain and the names of famous air battles. Who would buy that? Other than me – I am now its proud owner. More to the point, who would manufacture it? At what point during or after a war do you make commemorative tea towels of its horrible battles and bombings? Do you have to have won the war, but suffered in the specific battles? Because I really can’t picture the “Bombing of Dresden” dishtowels being made by either side.

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Stalking the wily narwhal: Reading the classics aloud with children

Tonight I started reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
to Moomin. We skipped a bit of the first chapter’s exposition. Moomin commented a lot on the long sentences that go on till you forget what they’re about. I think it helps to have them read aloud! I explain the long words but try to keep the story moving along. Around Chapter 4 he began to be super excited, as M. Aronnax gets more and more pompous about his theories of the gigantic narwhal and as the characters board the steamer Abraham Lincoln to hunt the monster. The ship has the most modern weapons for 1866 and can go an astonishing 18.6 knots an hour! I pointed out that’s how fast we went the other day in our neighbor’s tiny motorboat!

Captain Nemo's submarine, the Nautilus

He liked the part where the professor explains atmospheric pressure and the pressures of the deep ocean! And he admired the Canadian harpooner, Ned Land, a lot.

We stopped and discussed what this meant for a while:

But, Ned, you, a whaler by profession, familiarized with all the great marine mammalia; you, whose imagination might easily accept the hypothesis of enormous cetaceans, you ought to be the last to doubt under such circumstances!”

“That is just what deceives you, Professor,” replied Ned. “That the vulgar should believe in extraordinary comets traversing space, and in the existence of antediluvian monsters in the heart of the globe, may well be; but neither astronomer nor geologist believes in such chimeras. As a whaler I have followed many a cetacean harpooned a great number, and killed several; but, however strong or well-armed they may have been, neither their tails nor their weapons would have been able even to scratch the iron plates of a steamer.”

Because of course there are comets and astronomers do believe in them! So, he wanted to know why the professor thought Ned should believe in the sea unicorn, and why Ned gave these examples and what he meant by it.

After we closed the book he was laughing and describing his imaginary movie that would be a parody of it. That’s exactly how I felt about this stuff! I especially liked writing parodies of Poe! His imaginary movie had every character talking like M. Aronnax, even the submarine, and the ocean itself, and the atmosphere, and an imaginary narwhal who tells them all that it doesn’t exist. I totally busted out my powers of pomposity and talked like the book. Here is a sample!

My beloved, yet recalcitrant offspring, commence, if you please, to locomote to the lavatory where you shall apply this instrument of cleansing to your dental apparatus, and moving it vigorously to and fro along those organs, henceforth do battle with the uncountable millions of microbial organisms which teem, like the infinite stars of the Milky Way, in your mouth. With toothpaste.

Moomin actually fell over laughing at this and then got up to add stuff about the hydrogen and oxygen in the glass of mineral substance, along with the action of the Colgate with fluoride paste, and how this seemingly simple glass of water actually, though you may not believe it, contains an ENORMOUS NARWHAL. As I kept on saying ridiculous things he laughed so hard he had a giant laughter-induced asthma attack. We calmed down, he felt better, and I sang our usual unicorn song.

I’m glad Moomin has the patience to sit through the book, because the style is even more long-winded than Swiss Family Robinson‘s but if he rejected that style, he’d be missing out. When I was his age I had read a ton of Verne, Burroughs, Wells, the complete works of Poe, giant volumes of Mark Twain, and all that kind of thing. I wonder now if that kind of reading is even more unusual that it must have been in 1980? I haven’t met any kids yet who are like that, but they’re probably around. I like the idea that Moomin will develop a taste for books with long sentences and slow development even as he devours comics and doesn’t disdain a Magic Treehouse book. Tonight I said that the slightly boring expository bits are actually good because they build up atmosphere and by the time you get to the actual harpooning, it’s extra exciting. He looked a little skeptical but didn’t disagree.

sea turtle shirt

It’s funny to think of repositioning this pulp fiction of its time as “classic literature” today, but that’s how I think of it. Next up, The Odyssey and a Shakespeare play.

It was also a nice end to a long hard day – another 100-degree day, and I hadn’t gotten much sleep, and when he came over he just read My Side of the Mountain while I read my book and so I was glad to muster up the energy to be fun for a while. Even on a bad day I can usually do a good job reading something cool. Then I feel like a better parent. I wonder what will come from his imagination and what interests he’ll develop? Script writing? Marine science? Writing strange comics about talking robotic narwhals that burst out of a glass of water while he works as a dentist or a barista?

Posted in Boats!, Books | Tagged , , , , | 35 Comments

Kayaking with glowsticks

The other night we kayaked slowly into the dark with glowsticks around our wrists and paddles. The water was glassy smooth. Boats at night should have a red light to port, green light to starboard, and a white light in back, so I bought green and pink glowsticks. It was the perfect night for it, just after the Perseid meteor shower, warm, with no wind or mist. The kids were whispering with respect for the awesomeness of being out in the boats at night. As we headed up the harbor to the creek we talked about the stars, what it would be like to ride a giant manta ray, and the reflections of the masts in the water around us. I can’t remember all the things we talked about. It was nice to feel like we were all sharing this moment of appreciation for doing an unusual thing. It’s not quite like walking around the block. Getting in a boat always feels unusual!

That night trip wasn’t one of those times where I as the grownup was saying “Look! It’s pretty! HEY KIDS LOOK. I SAID LOOK!!!!! OMG!” It was so beautiful that they noticed without any prompting. We stared at the San Mateo Bridge like it was made of stars. I felt proud of them and their boating skills — and their noticing-the-world skills.

There was no way to take a picture so you’ll have to imagine the stillness and motion of the water, the shadowy masts overhead, and our dreamy looks as we leaned back to watch the sky.

sunset

After today’s brutal heat wave I had the idea that we’d kayak as soon as the sun went down. I cut Moomin’s hair. He hacked at the bangs before I got into the room, so I can’t answer for the results. At least it will be cooler on his neck and forehead! He read some comic books. Then we had an argument.

“Mom! I forgot to study!”
“Well, study tomorrow. It’s hot. It’s after 8pm. Let’s kayak now that’s it’s cooler out and see the moon.”
“But I have to study for the social studies test on Friday!”
“Oh come on! Come in the kayak with me!”
“No! Studying!”
“Okay, 5 minutes.”
“No, 10 minutes.”
5!
10!
“Look, Mom, how about 7 minutes. It’s a compromise.”
“Okay! The kayak will still be here tomorrow night! Study away! Then why don’t you watch Clone Wars for a while!”

Moomin enjoys the absurdity of my telling him not to do his homework or to eat more ice cream. I enjoy playing those scenes up for all they’re worth when they happen. In real life, I’m a fairly stern parent. You’re laughing. I can tell. But it’s true!

So I went out alone to the kayak, a bit heavily on two crutches. Sometimes I make it out there without a cane, sometimes with a cane. The last few days it’s two crutches for sure. I really appreciate my heavy duty forearm crutches with ergonomic grips and “Torpedo tip” rubber things at the bottom. They’re heavy and inconvenient to carry around, but don’t hurt my hands so much. As you may know from experience, with two crutches it’s much harder to carry things. Today my neighbor, a kid in high school, carried in my groceries in the 100 degree heat… But in a pinch, I would carry them in with a cart or multiple trips with backpacks, thumping down the floating dock and up the steep ramp.

I laid the crutches down on the dock and hopped into my kayak. Low tide, and the heat made it sulfurous down there, super marshy-smelling. Once I’m paddling out I’m free and nimble. Nothing marks me as different from anyone else in the way I move around.

My neighbor Brian from Slip 2 was in his kayak with his little dog, Rudder, perched in his lap. He was fully kitted out in life vest, hat, sunglasses, submersible VHF radio, and who knows what else in there! He was gossiping with my other neighbor in Slip 9. We hung out for a while probably being too loud! Brian had been out past the Robert G. Brownlee about 3/4 mile down the creek. I was impressed he brought his VHF radio with him and listens to what the Coast Guard is talking about! Cool! Our other neighbors Buckley and Wendy were out on their deck too as they always are this time of night. People were cooking dinner up on deck on grills now that the sun was finally down.

pete's harbor

As I noodled slowly towards the creek I thought about how during the day, the boats all just look like boats. At night, I can tell which ones are inhabited. The lights come on. People are moving around inside, listening to radios or watching TV. The boats look very homey then with the lights glowing & reflected in the water. All my stress from the day just disappeared and I felt full of happiness.

The sunset was glowing over Bair Island and the Oracle buildings. I didn’t go very far. Moomin would worry. The moon was amazing. Everything about the night and the water changes every few minutes as I looked. I think part of the peaceful feeling was from the processing-overload my brain gets into, interpreting all the changes of light and currents, tide and wind. Everything familiar looked different.

It’s corny, but I love being out here because it’s like being on the edge of the world. A very small, insignificant edge.

Posted in Boats! | Tagged , | 17 Comments

Cheap Art Manifesto

Moomin reads the Why Cheap Art? Manifesto aloud. One day he noticed it taped to the wall and read it with great enthusiasm!

“PEOPLE have been THINKING too long that ART is a PRIVILEGE of the MUSEUMS & the RICH. ART IS NOT BUSINESS! It does not belong to banks & fancy investors. ART IS FOOD.

You can’t EAT it BUT it FEEDS you. ART has to be CHEAP & available to
EVERYBODY. It needs to be EVERYWHERE because it is the INSIDE of the WORLD.

ART SOOTHES PAIN! Art wakes up sleepers! ART FIGHTS AGAINST WAR & STUPIDITY!

ART SINGS HALLELUJA! ART IS FOR KITCHENS! ART IS LIKE GOOD BREAD! Art is like green trees! Art is like white clouds in blue sky! ART IS CHEAP!

HURRAH!”

Manifesto!

Pretty cool. I had just organized a reading at Modern Times Books in San Francisco called Manifesto!. Moomin and I share an enthusiasm for wild rhetoric! As he read the Why Cheap Art? Manifesto aloud I realized it’s the perfect introductory manifesto for kids!

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How to dye kids’ hair funny colors

My hair has been purple for over 10 years. I bleach and dye it myself. I’ve also gotten to be an expert at dying kids’ hair funny colors. People ask me a lot how to put a colored streak in their kid’s hair! For most kids and families, a small colored stripe works best to start with. It’s fun and playful without being too extreme.

Here’s my way to do it. It’s cheap and takes about an hour and a half total, with most of that time being sitting around waiting for the bleach to work. By the way, you absolutely need to bleach the hair before dying it! Otherwise, the color won’t be bright and will wash out in a day or two.

2005 photos

1) Gather ingredients. You will need:

* bleach powder
* developer
* a glass or metal bowl (i.e. not plastic)
* a wide, thin paintbrush (optional)
* brightly colored hair dye (Obviously, of a color chosen by your child!)
* tin foil
* rubber or latex gloves
* shower cap, bandana, or knitted hat (optional)
* claw-like hair clips (or ponytail holders, or bobby pins)
* a comb
* a sink
* a towel you don’t mind being bleached and spotted with color
* some cleaning stuff to scrub the sink afterwards

You can get the bleach and dye off the Internet, in many drug stores, or in a beauty supply shop. There are small kits, and the best of those is Manic Panic Flash Lightning Bleach. The kits come with gloves and a brush, so that can be handy. If you are confident, just get separate packets of bleach powder and 40-level creme developer. 40 is strongest, and 20 is less strong. Go for the 40! The kits are about $10-12, while packets of bleach and developer run about $3-5 in beauty supply shops.

The Great Hair-Dyeing of August 2006

For fun colored hair, most of the dyes are pretty good. Manic Panic, Punky Color, and Special Effects are all fine. Manic Panic can be quite expensive though. My favorite right now is Creative Image Adore, because it lasts the longest and is the cheapest at around $4 a bottle. A bottle or jar of hair color for my entire head lasts me a year or so. Get weird colored hair dye from the Internet; beauty supply; Hot-Topic-esque places that sell skater things, gothy clothes, and bongs and maybe do tattoos; or simply from a drugstore if you live in an area like San Francisco.

If you use two similar colors, like two shades of green, or different reds, or red and orange, or blue and purple like I do, your results will look a hundred times better than with a single shade! Over the years I’ve built up a fine stock of colors.

The Great Hair-Dyeing of August 2006

You can also dye hair with Jello, Sharpies, Kool-aid, and anything else you please that you think will stick. I can attest to the effectiveness of all of the above, though they don’t come out as bright or as durable as the actual hair dyes.

2) Get comfortable. You might want the kid in a chair, and you standing up. Or seat them on a stool and you sit on the toilet in the bathroom. If you have a mirror for your child to look into they will be happier! You might listen to my list of the best punk rock songs for kids. Or, for the squirmy, TV works.

3) Choose and comb out the bit of hair you want to bleach. I recommend it be at least a half-centimeter-around chunk of hair for a good-sized stripe. Consider which way your child’s hair naturally falls when you pick a stripe.

4) Pin all the rest of the hair out of the way.

5) Tear off a good sized sheet of tin foil for each stripe.

6) Now mix up your bleach. Make a pretty small batch if it is just one stripe, and save the rest of the powder and developer for later. In a glass or other non-plastic bowl, pour in some bleach powder, maybe 3 tablespoons. Then pour in a tiny bit of creme developer. Add more developer gradually while mixing with your paintbrush, until the bleach paste is about the consistency of thick gravy. The bleach paste is now undergoing a chemical reaction! Use it right away!

7) Put the sheet of foil under the hair stripe. Spread out the hair as thin as you can on top of the foil. Now paint the hair with the bleach paste. You can use your fingers with gloves. The paint brush is just for convenience.

8) Wrap up the piece of foil around the stripe so the bleach won’t get anywhere else. Optional: put on a hat, a shower cap, or bandana so the foil isn’t annoying.

The Great Hair-Dyeing of August 2006

9) Wait about 40 minutes for dark straight or mildly wavy hair. If you have unusually blond hair, it might be more like 25-30 minutes. If you are bleaching very curly hair, for example if your child is African-American and has dark curly hair, be more cautious and stick with 25-30 minutes even if it doesn’t bleach all the way out. You can peek into the foil to see how light the hair is, then wrap it back up for a little more time. With very dark hair you might end up with a yellowish or brassy orange tone, and if you try to go all the way to pale, curly hair may get very straw-like in texture or even break off! With my dark brown, wavy hair and my bleaching the hell out of it repeatedly, I have never had a hair-breaking disaster.

10) Take out the foil and rinse immediately in the sink! Rinse your child’s hair a lot. Pat it gently dry with a towel. Make sure the bleach is off your rubber gloves.

11) Rinse out your brush and bleach bowl. Pour in some color, or if you have a jar of color instead of a bottle, just use the jar.

12) Carefully separate out the bleached hair from the rest, and put a sheet of foil underneath that strand.

13) Paint that bit of hair on top of the foil all over, very thoroughly, with your dye or dyes! If you put the darker color lower down, the colors will stay well separated as you rinse the hair.

The Great Hair-Dyeing of August 2006

14) Wrap up the foil and wait as long as you have patience for. At least half an hour is good. You can leave it in all night if your kid will stand for it, but it won’t make that much of a difference.

15) Unwrap, rinse, and dry the hair! Be sure to use the sacrificial hair-dying towel! Take photos!

blue stripe

Now scrub your sink and counter or your shower or whatever else got splattered with funny colors.

Your child’s pillowcases may turn colors and the bath water will be fun for a few days but since you are a VERY COOL PERSON you will not mind at all.

You can do this for around $10-20 at the cost of a little time and some dye all over your sink which will scrub right out. I have also done this entire procedure with no gloves and no foil: just painted the stripes right in. That can work for the dye, but for bleaching, it’s best to use foil!

Enjoy your child’s fun hair experiment and while you’re at it, why not do your hair too? Your kid will be super excited! Try not to match each other though. That’s just embarrassing.

Also, please do not bleach your cat.

Leave me a link in comments to a photo if you use my instructions, and let me know how it went!

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Bayview to Breakers!

I’m excited! We’re going to Bayview to Breakers today. Though we won’t have boats, we’ll meet people and cheer on whoever is there with kayaks or art boats or weird rafts made of plastic bottles. I’ve only driven around this area, so it’ll be nice to get out the car and hang out.

Celebrating free public access to the Bay and the maritime history of India Basin and the southeast shore of San Francisco, Bayview to Breakers is an urban flotilla of manual powered watercraft. If the land-lubbers in small towns on small waters in America’s heartland can have watercraft celebrations, so too shall the City by the Bay.

India Basin

I think we’ll be going to the starting point, then driving around India Basin to Heron’s Head Park, where there is a fairly new EcoCenter — sort of a nature center about sustainable living. Take a look at their blog: The EcoCenter at Heron’s Head Park.

I totally love how the Bayview to Breakers site is full of the overuse of nautical language:

Calling all weathered, barnacled sea captains and rubber-legged would be skippers. Summoning all those with non-motorized, manually powered vessels, from the finely handcrafted to the roughly hewn, from the Bay worthy to the “as yet determined.” From the innovative and inventive, to the overly ambitious. To all the works-in-progress waiting to be plied to the open water. Shake off your summer fog — this is your day in the sun and water. San Francisco’s sunny southeast waterfront is home to the finest weather to be found in summertime.

If there’s time, we might all go take a peek at the Hunters Point and Islais Creek Studios. While I’m not sure if they’re open, I’d like to see where they are! It looks like the Islais Creek Studios are right across the creek from where I like to sit and look out at the broken-down dock, and right near Building REsources, a very very cool Urban Ore type of junkyard where you can buy sinks or doors or weird old pieces of machinery. I think the kids will love Building REsources.

Islais Creek crane

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Watching meteors from the roof

Last night we set up sleeping bags on the roof of the quarterdeck to watch the Perseid meteor shower. I’ve been thinking about doing this all summer! Two sleeping bags, a lot of pillows, an extra blanket, extra fuzzy socks, and hats kept us warm.

First we took a look at Venus and the moon. The sun was setting behind a line of palm trees. A few stars came out. We yelled back and forth with our neighbor Roy, who had just gone out on his little motorboat. He made Moomin promise to yell out to him if he saw a meteor.

A little earlier it had looked like this:
sunset
Rather than stay up on the roof for hours, we came back down to bed. Moomin read from a web page about the Perseids. At the end he did a very funny announcer voice.

We read almost the LAST bit of Swiss Family Robinson, where Jenny Montrose joins the family. Moomin had a lot of sarcastic commentary about it was sexist for them to worry about her not being in a dress, and how Jack would not let her go alone in the kayak. “Oh, come on! What is she, a baby?! She just lived in a hut alone on an island for 3 years! She can kayak by herself!” We also made fun of the non-stop animal killing. In this chapter, they shot some wolves, jackals, a tiger, a whale, and a pair of lions. I thought Moomin was going to have a freakin’ stroke when they got to the wounded lioness. Then he asked me to just skip the part about the tiger. The night before, Oblomovka had been making up fake bits about how they meet a Tyrannosaurus Rex. “But dinosaurs are extinct!” “Well, they are now!” This makes complete sense and also explains why they live on an island with wolves, tigers, lions, bears, elephants, ostriches, penguins, walruses, and so on — perhaps all those animals used to exist in one place. Until they were all shot and stuffed!

After we all read in bed for a while it was dark enough to be worth really looking. The night was still clear. I think we went up on deck around 10 or 10:30.

The iPad star watching app was useful in red-filter mode to let us know what we were looking at. I spotted the Big Dipper, North Star, Cassiopeia, and Cygnus but the star gazing app was great for the names of stars. We tried to imagine the people who sat around night after night mapping and naming the stars visible with the naked eye.

I saw maybe 3 shooting stars, Oblomovka saw more, and Moomin saw one. What a relief! I was afraid he wouldn’t see any!

We were talking about memories of seeing meteor showers and fireworks and just being outside at night when we were kids. Often this meant endless driving, parking in giant fields full of people along with some creative car swearing, trudging around in crowds, lying on blankets on wet muddy grass… and then one star, or some super crappy fireworks. The thing is, I liked all of that and admired my parents’ organization. There we were in the middle of a strange situation in the night and they’d have my sister in a baby backframe pack, a cooler full of food that my mom would pack in – in the big red and yellow backpack cooler that must have been free swag from her dad’s job as a liquor distributor – The fireworks were almost always not very good – Then the surge of crowds on the way back would stress everyone. I liked the way crushed grass smelled in the night, in a crowd. It seemed like we always had everything we needed. I wonder if Moomin will remember being on the roof of the boat? Will he mind that he only saw one shooting star?

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Best Punk Rock Songs for Kids

Punk rock is the most awesome music for kids. It’s loud, energetic, expressive of emotion, and if you can get your kids listening to it, half your work of political education is done. Plus you’ll never have to listen to syrupy “children’s music” again. How to get your kids to listen to punk rock? Make them awesome mix CDs and show them YouTube videos. Here’s my picks for the best punk rock for kids.

Toddlers and elementary school age:

1. Rockaway Beach – The Ramones. It’s happy, repetitive, and makes kids think of happy times at the beach.

2. Underdog – Butthole Surfers. This is a great cover of the Underdog theme song. The trick is to avoid saying the name of the band.

3. Searching to Destroy – The Stooges. It’s good to learn all the lyrics to this song. You don’t have to really explain what an a-bomb or napalm are. Just say they are powerful explosions.

4. Spiderman Theme cover – The Ramones. You can’t go wrong here. Try making up your own words to “Spiderman” but for different animals and screaming along in the car. Slu-ug Man, Slu-ug Man, Does whatever a slug can (which isn’t much).

5. Rock Lobster – The B-52s. This may be the best song ever. Act crazy and dance around! Good for stuffed animal mosh pits. Sit on the floor with all possible stuffed animals. At the craziest bits of the song, scream MOSH PIT and throw the animals everywhere.

Older elementary and middle school kids:

1. Teenage Lobotomy – The Ramones. This requires a nascent sense of sarcasm.

2. The Rezillos – Somebody’s Going to Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight. Violent, but really, I think your kid can handle it. It’s full of cheerful goodwill.

3. Words and Guitars – Sleater Kinney. Perfect chaos. Really good for those stuffed animal mosh pits or for banging incoherently on a guitar along with the music.

4. Basket Case – Green Day. Almost any Green Day song is good. I never loved them, somehow, but can’t leave them off this list.

5. James Bond Lives Down Our Street – The Toy Dolls. What a great song. And it’s about James Bond. Full of win!

5. Back in ’79 – The Toy Dolls. Tie with James Bond for the most awesome Toy Dolls song. It’s simple, a bit repetitive, and would make anyone want to dance around.

Earth to San Francisco

Teenagers

1. Kill the Poor – The Dead Kennedys. Older kids can handle the irony. It’s a perfect introduction to political discourse!

2. I Hate You, I Love You – The Dead Milkmen. Useful to express the agonies of love! MP3 here for 99 cents:I Hate You I Love You

3. Rebel Girl – Bikini Kill. A classic! Has some strong language. Solidarity and feminism in a totally rocking song. Very good to scream along with in the car.

4. Institutionalized – Suicidal Tendencies. A classic. You really shouldn’t hit 15 years old without listening to this song over and over.

5. Where Eagles Dare – The Misfits. Has swears. Will always remind me of that one World of Warcraft funeral raid where Serenity Now blasted everyone to bits.

This one time I was at a 3-year-old’s party and their rave-head parents thought it was very funny to put on a really dirty Peaches tape while we all drank Cosmopolitans while flicking the lights on and off really fast and the kids danced. Okay, it was kind of funny! But terribly wrong.

Do you think my age ranges are off? Am I missing any crucial bands or songs?

If you think of any other music that would qualify as the best punk rock for kids, leave a comment!

You might also want to read How to Dye Your Kids’ Hair Funny Colors!

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Travel with a kid – and a wheelchair

I set out to have a perfect day trip with Moomin this spring, right after a stressful time at work. IN fact it was a couple of weeks where I would pick him up from the aftercare at school at the last possible minute, feed him dinner, and say “Sorry… I have to work some more now.” How dreary! In an attempt to make up for those weeks, I set out to have the perfect aquarium and beach day of his (and my) dreams.

You noticed the wheelchair? I get a bit prickly about it. No, I don’t want any help, thanks. No, I”m not “brave” or anything, just living my life. Well… in reality I do sometimes need help and I have to nerve myself to do things and go places. Going to Monterey is about a 2 hour drive. I’d have to park in a parking garage on a hill, get myself and Moomin down the hill, wheel through a huge aquarium that’s very crowded and stressful, manage to feed us, and do it all in reverse to get back home. Driving tends to hurt my knees and stiffen me up, though I love a road trip. Hills, even small hills, are hellish in a manual wheelchair. I would have to get Moomin to push me up any sort of hill! Crowds are difficult as well, as I get jostled painfully, stepped on, kicked, and have to stare at people’s butts a lot, all while keeping track of my dreamy-minded child. Sitting up all day with no time to lie down is very tiring and painful for me. I get cranky and snappy when I’m in pain; that’s no fun. Then, the beach. Would there be a beach I could manage to get onto on crutches without seriously hurting myself? Also… Moomin tends to get carsick. So I did wonder: is this going to work? Are we going to have a horrible time, will either of us be in tears, what if I can’t make it home; who would rescue us if I needed rescuing? Will I pay for this trip in pain and lost functioning, tonight, or for days afterwards? What if, because I tried to have this nice trip with my kid on the weekend, I mess myself up physically so much that I can’t make it to work and then I get fired?!

It’s all much easier than it might be, because Moomin is so good. He would never run off in a crowd, or at the beach, or suddenly go into the water and be pulled out to sea by a rip tide, or anything like that. I can trust him completely to behave.

So once I realize I’m a bit afraid to do something I have to do it!

We set out for Monterey, and listened to a great punk rock mix tape. We talked a lot about how songs have moods. Even when you can’t understand the words, a mood gets conveyed. Moomin labelled many songs “Fierce” or “Happy, but angry”. One was “Makes me think of an elephant on a trampoline.”

We got to Cannery Row. MIRACLE!!! I got a parking space right on the main street, across from a tiny, perfect beach!

cannery row

I sat in my wheelchair in a garden full of butterflies while Moomin ran around on the pocket-sized beach below, looking in tidepools and building sand castles and standing on the rocks looking out to sea. Here he is poised on top of a rock.

beach

Then we had lunch in a restaurant called the Fish Hopper, just above the beach. They seated us right away without any fuss about my wheelchair, in a table outside right on the edge of the deck. I let Moomin run down onto the beach while we waited for our lunch.

fish hopper restaurant

In the aquarium, we spent a long time at the Kelp Forest. That way I didn’t have to move around a lot. I parked and watched Moomin squirrel around, reading all the signs and staring at the giant tank full of stuff.

kelp forest

Museums with Moomin are extra fun for me. I love to read the signs and think about everything I look at instead of racing through. He reads every single sign I have the patience to sit in front of, and he’ll read them out loud to me, with commentary and thoughts as we examine at whatever it is. When other people notice them, they freak out a little because Moomin looks younger than he is. I get very proud of how studious and scholarly he is. He doesn’t know how rare this quality is. Or, maybe, how much I appreciate the fact that we share it!

drifters

Strangers also notice the wheelchair (when they’re not rudely bumping into it.) So we get a few looks of sentiment, or pity, or concern, or just kind of “oh look, freak show.” I’m used to it and since I have purple hair it’s not like I’m really fighting it, right? Still, a whole day of stares is wearisome.

Of course I also appreciate silliness!!!

under a wave

And beauty…

moon jellies

And wise old sea turtles who might make a person think of their favorite stuffed animal.

sea turtle

Moomin took those last two photos and they’re really not bad!

We drove home, I took a painkiller, and I’d like to add that despite my not-unrealistic but still neurotic fears, Monday morning I was in my cube at work.

That one nice day can’t replace or fix the weeks I spent putting off Moomin and not even being able to help him with his homework because I was too tired or stressed. But, though it can’t make up for it, it at least provides some good memories to go along with the day to day humdrum.

All the way driving home I had this uplifting bubble of angry happiness, just like the punk rock mix tape. Take that, world! Maybe you thought I couldn’t do this… AND I DID. I was proud of myself and yes, I did feel Brave. And Moomin doesn’t know that I was afraid of our trip or that I struggle, which is as it should be.

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Marine Science Camp, day 1

At Marine Science Camp today, Moomin dissected a squid and thought about working as a non-fiction writer. He imagined a cartoon of the differences between Squidward and a real squid, so I might try to draw some modifications of Squidward to his specifications.
First, have a picture of a squid.
baby_squid
Moomin says:

Basically, this is what Squidward should really look like, for real. First of all, his arms/tentacles would be longer. Then, he would have 8 more arms, except shorter than the tentacles. Also they would all be on top of his head. He would have absolutely no real legs. His eyes would be on the side of his head, his mouth would also be on the top of his head with his arms, also, it would be a beak, not a mouth. He would be about 5 inches long. And to top it off, he would have fins on his butt.

I know about this because I’ve seen a real squid. A dead one, but, a real squid. It did not at all look like the cartoons said it would look like. It certainly was not very similar to a person, as you can see!

squidwards

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Treasure Hunt with Puzzles: The Big Hunt

To prepare a good treasure hunt, first look for good hiding places. Then decide what order you want the hunters to range over the territory. Give yourself a lot of time for preparation. In a small space like a backyard or a house, you might lead them back and forth across a space several times. In a bigger space, make the trail more linear.

Write your clues, number them sequentially, and write up an outline for yourself that links them to each other. Some clues might lead to small treasures to keep up morale. In the big hunt I made a diagram for myself, numbered all the clues, and put together a bag with all the treasures and boxes and bags full of juice boxes and cookies.

Visual unity for the clues comes in handy. So, write them all on blue paper, or roll them up and tie them with a string, or put them in envelopes of a particular type marked with numbers or secret symbols. This helps the hunters to know they’ve found something significant. Plus it’s stylish and adds to the atmosphere of a hunt.

It’s a good idea to print out a cheat sheet of all the clues and carry it with you if you’re hovering nearby… as we were.

We had kayaking and rowing lessons with all the kids before the hunt started. I told them that at some point in the hunt, they would need to get into the boats.

Here’s the map of our immediate area:

And here’s the clues!

Clue 1 – the pirate flag at the bow

Through wind and spray
I tell my name.
The Jolly Roger
Starts the game.

There are several places on the boat with pirate flags, including the welcome mat, a hanging sign on deck, and the flag at the bow. Only Moomin knew what “Jolly Roger” meant. I figured that would be the case and that it would lend him authority from the start of the hunt. But while he was looking under the mat, Oblomovka’s daughter found the clue on the flag — which, since she was the youngest of the bunch, helped give her ideas some respect.

Clue 2 (leads to phoenix point in the pile of rocks)

Get the point? You’ll need to roam
Much further from our watery home.
You don’t need to tie a knot
To walk across the parking lot.
Past palm trees tall and towards some trailers
That just might be homes for sailors.
At Phoenix Point we can look out
O’er Redwood Creek, Smith Slough, and other routes
From there you can see the diving coots
And the Marine Science Institute.
Someone there piled up some rocks
Half burned, like muddy, dirty blocks.
Inside that pile, you’ll find a box!

This clue had both the end goal directly described with names (Phoenix Point) and a gradual progression, to assure the hunters they were on the right trail. I used this technique several times, and it was often confusing. It’s a way of thinking, and not everyone has been exposed to it – like doing British style crosswords – it has its own internal puzzle-logic. Our crew of 10 year olds and one 7 year old tended to fix on the first thing mentioned in the clue and assume it was the goal. Over the course of the hunt, they began to catch on and would argue a lot about the importance of reading and listening to the entire clue before running off to pursue a concept of the FIRST THING MENTIONED.
All of the hovering adults (me included) had a hard time with non-interference. In other words – we often intervened or hinted.

When the kids got to the point, the cookie tin I’d hidden in a pile or rocks had been taken! I drove across the parking lot to catch up with them after some time had passed. Some people may have almost cried in rage and frustration. It probably didn’t help that I pointed out someone else may have had an exciting time finding an unexpected treasure. I was able to recite some crucial bits of the next clue. (This is why I warn you all to carry an extra copy of all the clues.)

Clue 3 (leads to bulletin board by laundry room)

A dragon has a golden hoard,
A phoenix a bed of ash.
I’m just letters and a board,
And I wish I had some cash.

I’ll be honest, I’ll be blunt —
I’m close by to The Waterfront.
Passers-by are carrying soap.
That should help to give you hope!

Stick pins me me and I won’t mind.
Come here to sell or here to find.
I tell of cars and things afloat.
So, would you like to buy a boat?

Only Moomin would really be able to figure this one out. The Waterfront is the name of the harbor’s restaurant. Near it, there’s a little building with showers and the laundry room, and outside that, a bulletin board. Moomin did get the part about the soap, so led everyone to the right area. But it was his friend Andrew who first spotted the big corkboard.

Clue 4 (leads to the cat shelter)

Though the world is helter skelter,
For homeless wanderers, here there’s shelter.
A kind heart comes and keeps me well
Each morning at the breakfast bell.

For rodent’s bane and fish’s foe,
This roof protects our eyes that glow.
Here in the rain near the egret’s cry
Our wandering feet and fur stays dry.

Moomin liked this one for “rodent’s bane”. It was funny to watch the kids all slowly realize this was about cats. Every morning (or nearly) at 7am, a kind lady who used to live aboard at the marina comes to put out cat food for the strays in a shelter she built from a plastic tub and some bricks. This was quite near the laundry room bulletin board and I thought it improved morale for there to be two clue solutions in a row, quickly solved.

Clue 5 (leads to the boat painted like the Italian flag that’s on land at the entrance to the harbor)

You’ve looked around. You might have seen
me guard the way with red and green.
Arrivederci! I always say,
And Welcome to the U.S.A.!
Out of my element, high and dry,
I greet and welcome passers-by.
My heart is rusty, and what the heck,
In some ways I’m a broken wreck.
But cheerful still, sleek like a seal,
Come aboard and take the wheel!

Even though for weeks beforehand I pointed out the “Welcome” sign at the harbor entrance, and the way everything in the harbor is painted in the colors of the Italian flag, nobody got the idea. “Out of my element” finally clued someone in. The next paper was taped to the underside of a shelf you could only see if you got inside the boat. I think at this clue, someone hinted to the kids that it was at the harbor entrance. That backfired, because they thought first of the entrance to the harbor by water and if we hadn’t intervened they’d have all gotten into boats!!

clue 6 (leads to the footpath by the condos)

Here you have some paper sacks
Take them with you! And bring them back.

Turn your faces towards the setting sun
which sinks into the sea when day is done.

When you reach the Public Shore
You will see just what’s in store.

Though some might think that you would fall,
Feel free to walk upon the wall.

Then read of snails, mice, and clams
Continue in on the dry land.

Find some trash to bring it back —
Your reward will be a snack.

You will see the bridge of birds
If you’ve followed all these words.

Learn about the salt marsh plains
And the history of the bay.

Play a while, and if you’re brave
You might look up — in a cave!

This clue was pretty complicated. They figured out to face west from the “setting sun” line. I had primed Moomin some days before with a look at the “Public Shore” sign. None of the kids was comfortable going this far afield without adults, walking down a quiet street with a sidewalk but leaving the harbor itself. (Sadly – having “free range kids” is not just a matter of opening the door and shooing them out – this bunch is so cautious you have to bribe them to wander with plenty of reassurance that it’s okay.)

Down the little trail along the marsh between the water and some apartments, there were a couple of signs with information about birds and the salt marsh harvest mouse. At a tiny playground – some rocks in a sand pit – the kids finally found a very tiny cave (suitable for 3 year olds) and duct taped to the roof of it, the next envelope.

Minnie, Vim, and Moomin’s 3 year old cousin Mr. Pants were at the sand pit already in place. It was too hard for Mr. Pants to keep up with the running pack of 10 year olds, so I thought it might work to place him near the end of the hunt.

Clue 7 (leads to the bulkheads and a little place to hide things at the end of the big field with the pylons in it)

X Marks the Spot

Lead your feet back down the stairs
Cross the street, pass homes of Bairs.

You’ll pass a second ship across the way,
Behind a fence and hedge where children play.

A pace is two steps, that’s how Romans measure,
And how pirates do when they hide treasure.

Find the pole with anchor’s sign,
This is where you draw the line.

Start from here and face the dawn
100 paces across the gopher’s lawn.

The grasses wave at pylons over head
That lead the way to water’s edge.

100 paces, then a little more,
Will lead you to the pirate’s store.

At TP-2, a ledge, beware!
You are near the pirate’s lair!

Another overly complicated clue that in retrospect could have been more clear. They went in the right direction — across the street to the field next to the other condominium complex. But the second ship, in another tiny playground, distracted them and was beyond the pole with the anchor sign that I meant them to measure paces from. My mistake! They instead fixated on the anchor painted onto the playground’s ship-shaped structure. They eventually faced the dawn and paced 100 times and realized the entire thing just meant “go to the end of the field to the water’s edge.” I didn’t follow, so I don’t know what happened. “TP-2” was painted onto some concrete blocks near the bulkhead. Just under the bulkhead is a very tiny kid-sized path and a good place to store a paper grocery bag full of cookies and juice boxes. (It was a hot day and by this time they were tired in the sun.)

clue 9, next to last clue points to floating bottle with a message in it, tied under the abandoned pier at the end of G dock

ABCDEFG

Every Good Boy Does Fine
And at the end of Good, what will you find?

***

Before a person gets into a boat,
They really should make sure that they can float.

In Hurricane, Daisy, and in No Brakes
And some on foot, you’ll raise the stakes.

Raise anchor too; untie the ropes,
And paddle out to raise your hopes.

Escape! Pass in a Frenzy by the Galaxy,
Go further on to see what you can see.

Beware of Contagious Kootenai,
As you keep searching low and high.

Jane-O rests on triple foot
Providing caves for grebe and coot.

The Killer Duck comes into sight.
You’re Feeling Good. And now turn right!

You have gone around the bend.
The last clue’s near, then our quest’s end.

The pillars of a pirate hall
Stand and brave the seagull’s call.

You’ll need some skill and also luck.
I’m bobbing in the water like a duck!

Okay here is where they get in boats and go paddling off. It was an exciting part but it caused some trouble. I thought this clue was going to be very clear in telling the hunters exactly where to be and where to look and where to stop. But it wasn’t!

The funny capitalized words in the rhyme are all the names of boats , in order as you leave the harbor. The Feeling Good is the last boat on the right and has its name painted very large all over it. JUST past it…. seriously a very hard right turn 3 times… is the tiny abandoned pier with huge pillars that I was calling the Pirate’s Hall. I thought they would notice this and turn sharply enough, but they paddled out of the harbor and whooshed past it, continuing up the creek along with the tidal current and pushed by the wind. They didn’t get further away than about 10 yards before like 10 adults were yelling at them to come back immediately. We had let Oblomovka’s daughter get into a kayak by herself (she had been practicing) but it was stressful to have her even a couple of yards out of reach and my mom and I were yelling at her to come back which ended up (so bad and embarrassing) in me yelling at my mom. Sigh. All was well. The stressed out grown ups just flustered the kids and made them self conscious – and if you have ever watched boats or been in one you will know it seems very obvious what another person should do with oars or sail – frustratingly so. In fact there is not anything bad that could have even happened since the water is like 2 feet deep there (it was middle tide over an enormous mud flat in a marsh), they all had life jackets on, all the parents were 10 feet away watching, and at worst if pushed upstream by the tide (at 1.5 miles per hour) a kid would have drifted slowly upstream (but before hitting the not-very-far shore would have been rescued and towed back by one of us). Anyway, they all paddled back and Jong (her other dad) got in the kayak and did the rest of her paddling for her to improve her spirits. The other problem was that only one boat could really go effectively into the Pirate’s Hall area. So everyone who didn’t get the clue in the floating bottle was a bit sulky and stressed out. In retrospect, I would have done this differently so that they were told never to leave the inner harbor, and hidden the clue right at the end of the dock (having warned/gotten permission from the people in the boats moored there.)

The other problem that caused hurt feelings and screaming was the next clue, the last one, which was in code and included a pen for decoding.

Clue 10. LAST CLUE leads to presents (look in chain locker)

12 – 15 – 15 – 11 9 – 14 20 – 8 – 5

3 – 8 – 1 – 9 – 14 12 – 15 – 3 – 11 – 5 – 18

So while everyone was boating themselves back to the houseboat (which it wasn’t clear they should do, but I just told them to), H., the oldest kid, did the decoding very quickly in the rowboat as another kid rowed and all the other kids screamed at him to stop it because they should decode it together. Moomin was super mad. I should have predicted this and had some way for the clue to be on several cards with several pens.

Despite tiny moments of surliness, resentment, competition, and foot-dragging, all the kids were good sports and got it into their heads that they all had good ideas, all should listen to each other, and that when one person “got” the clue before the others, appreciation and congratulations are in order rather than jealousy.

In the chain locker in the bow at the head of Moomin’s bed, all the presents were hidden in bags. I put in the party favors here too.

It was successful and memorable!

I ran a very difficult hunt at my house for grownups a few years ago while I was obsessed with making complicated geocaches. The only clue I remember from it was a paper hidden in a book of Greek Drama that said simply, “Oh, Hero’s boyfriend!” and the answer of course was “Leander” with the next clue hidden in some oleander bushes. I wish I had all the clues – they were good. Someday i’d like to do the MIT hunt (which I talked with mako about) and make up very complicated multi-stage clues with more math and elliptical thinking.

Posted in Parties! | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Treasure Hunts with Puzzles: The warmup

Moomin had two parties this year; one big one at his dad’s house and a small treasure hunt at the houseboat. He had read and immediately re-read the Elizabeth Enright book “Melendy Maze: A Spiderweb for Two”, which has a very exciting treasure hunt with rhyming clues, hard enough so that the full hunt takes months.

So, for weeks I scouted out possible locations and thought of doggerel that wouldn’t be completely obvious but would give enough hints for Moomin to understand. There should be elliptical references phrased in over-fancy language – which was part of what he admired about the Enright poem-clues. The hunt should also get him used to the idea of wandering around the harbor and immediate area without adults. (Though, we were all so interested in their puzzle solving thought process that we hovered nearby.) In the Melendy Maze clues, the results were often in the house or yard of nearby kindly old people in quaint cottages who enjoy baking cookies and reminiscing about the old days. So the point of the hunt was for the kids to end up in a huge group of friends who live all around them. Too lofty of a goal, so I stuck to my subtext of noticing things in the geography around us and wandering independently over the territory – for Moomin to come to think of the territory as his.

Since this hunt ranged over a large territory rather than just being in a house and small yard, there was a risk that the clues might be disturbed or stolen. And that happened in one case – sadly, the cookie tin with lollipops and Clue 3 was looted by pirates.

If you’re me, or at all like me, you’ll need to get over your fear of writing horrible doggerel. The kids won’t mind or even notice.

This will now become a very long post, even though it’s the warmup hunt!

The day before the party I had a very short, easy treasure hunt just for Moomin and Oblomovka’s daughter. That was so that they would work well as a core team, and so that we could give Moomin his new kayak. Here are the clues, which were all on or very nearby the boat:

(Clue 1. The compartment under the seat cushions at the kitchen table.)

Near a place where you might sit to eat
Is where I like to hide.
Can you keep a secret?
I can. I stay inside!

(Clue 2. Outside pinned high up to the piling next to our boat and the floating dock.)

Pelican’s perch,
here I stand
as you go up and down.

Slimy or dry,
It’s nicer here
Than it is in town.

Put in a pin to mark the tide
And look up high — find what I hide!

(Clue 3. In my big Spanish dictionary.)

A veces estoy abierto,
A veces estoy cerrado.
Levanto aquí con muchos hermanos,
Y estoy muy, muy pesado.

Tengo muchos palabras
Y tengo muchos páginas.
Soy una cosa, no soy hombre.
¿Conoces tú cual es mi nombre?

(Clue 4. On top of the roof taped to the winch.)

Go aloft to a place to sit or lie
To watch the ISS go by.
To haul up a boat a foot or an inch,
You might need to use a winch.

(Clue 5. In the aft hold, in the vacuum cleaner or taped to it.)

You’re going to need a bit of luck
And here’s what you have to know.
My main purpose is to suck
And I live below.

(Clue 6. Slip 8 is 2 slips down from us where I have tied up Moomin’s new kayak!)

If you should feel like going faster
Then here’s the key for you to master.
Hurry up and don’t be late.
And go to see what’s at slip 8!

The kids ripped right through these clues. They got super excited! At the end, Moomin actually got into the kayak at slip 8 and hunted around in it for the next clue for a few minutes, until we explained that the kayak itself was his birthday present! He was stunned!

Spring Break

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Response to a family left homeless by a fire

I live in a pretty good town. Three families recently lost their apartment in a fire, and the second grade teacher of one of the kids asked for help on a local parents’ group list. There was a huge wave of support. I love it that it wasn’t just *stuff* donated, but practical help for the family, cash, transport, help to the teacher who was organizing efforts, help doing the really hard bit which is interfacing with the necessary civic bureaucracies, and now continuing work to help find them a place to live.

I learned from the emails that Clifford Elementary has a clothes closet swap room. Isn’t that a great idea? Every school should have a swap room! Let people bring in kids’ clothes, toys, school supplies, non-perishable food, and anything at all in good condition. Parents would surely volunteer to keep the room organized and clean. And since it’s all free, you wouldn’t have to lock it up or keep it specially staffed. Have it open after school and after-care when parents might be picking up their kids. I’m curious for the details of how the Clifford swap room works!

I had sarcastic things to say about Katrina relief donations of stuff, though so much of it was well done and well organized and certainly well meaning. This small local effort looks very smart to me, connecting with resources already in place while mobilizing community members directly. What do you think? What would you add to this if you were contributing?

Good Morning Everyone-

I am writing this email today to express my gratitude to all of you who have helped support my student and his family. I am truly amazed at how one email and one Facebook posting turned into a county wide collaboration! My life and my home has been consumed with the generosity of you all. I have received clothing, some of which was bought personally for the children in the family, bikes, scooters, furniture, household items, TVs, toys, books, money, giftcards and a generous donation by PODS to store the items for free! I have also had people help deliver, transport and store items. This has been so helpful as I am just one person.

I want to especially thank all of the parents from Clifford Elementary School in Redwood City. The support and generosity from you all has been amazing!!! You made a difference in the lives of 13 people!!!

My students family is still homeless, as they are having difficulties finding a place to rent. The rental market is tough right now. They have been relocated to a hotel in San Mateo for now.

This is still an ongoing effort. I have written a proposal to the Redwood City
Fire Departments “Give a Smile” Foundation. This is a foundation headed by a fire Captain in the city to help families who have been through tragedy. I am still awaiting a reply from them. I hope they are able to help. Also, on June 5th there will be a BBQ fundraiser in RWC at Spinas Park. Myself, Janet Borgens and the Redwood City Fire Department will be putting on this event. ALL proceeds will go directly to the family. More information to come later. I am still collecting items for the family. I have been making daily drop offs to them and they are truly grateful. The mother said to me yesterday “I can’t believe that people want to help us”. She was speechless. If you have furniture you would like to donate, please email me directly.

Once again, I want to thank all of you for helping me get this family back on their feet. I am in awe!

Yours Truly,

Michelle Territo
2nd Grade Teacher
Fair Oaks School

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A monstrous great brute of a heron

Here’s a quick book-reading update! We’ve been reading Swiss Family Robinson lately, continuing our nautical theme. Moomin’s also re-reading Swallows and Amazons, and he’s well into The Edge Chronicles, Volume 2. He read a volume of the Moomintroll comics, some Lightning Thief books, and a lot of other fantasy novels that I can’t remember.

In Swiss Family Robinson we are mostly remarking on how the family either kills or tames every animal or fish or bird they see. They see something cute? KILL!!! Use its guts! Eat its liver! Chop it to bits and feed it to another animal! Pierce its nose and ride it! If it’s a tree, chop it down after a learned discourse upon its uses!

Today we imagined living on Bair Island just across the harbor but without any Civilization. We couldn’t build a boat out of wood, because there aren’t any trees there. We would eat raw shellfish, making our own small shell mound, and we’d make a canoe from dried marsh grasses and reeds, like the Miwok or maybe it was the Ohlone. Ducks would not be cute or beautiful to us anymore. They would be FOOD.

This would not be a beautiful great blue heron. It would be a vile, smelly, monstrous great brute of a heron, a bird of prey, competing with us for fish. We would kill it and make a really nice hat and fletch some arrows.

great blue heron

(Instead of floating by it silently for half an hour, staring and waiting, like we did the other day in our kayaks.)

I explained to Moomin one night recently that Swiss Family Robinson is totally my fantasy. He was like, “WHAT? Why? Do you really like the idea of slaying every possible animal and civilizing every kind of natural beauty without even appreciating it?” Me: No! I like the idea of having a pack of completely obedient children working for me 14 hours a day without complaining, and in between, they say things like, “Oh, Mother! Tell me again about the natural history of the teeth of the agouti! What a fascinating lecture!” At that Moomin laughed so hard he fell over and rolled around on the floor rather like a cartoon of a laughing child.

I realized on reading Swiss Family Robinson aloud, somewhere deep into a tree-chopping chapter, that this book is the source of my knowledge about turpentine coming from pine trees. When I was in kindergarten, a relative who was a child psychologist gave me some kind of IQ test meant for small children, with blocks that were somehow math-y, and shapes and a series of questions of increasing difficulty, which I think were supposed to end when you missed a particular number of them in a row. I remember enjoying the tests and questions. But then disaster struck at the question about where turpentine comes from. I said from pine trees, and she got mad, saying that I must have cheated or looked at the answers and she wasn’t going any further with the test. Though I told her I had read it somewhere, who knew where!? NOW I KNOW WHERE. Oh, the outrage! Unfairly judged! That sort of thing happened a lot. At that age I was reading a bunch of “kids’ classics” including this, Black Beauty, Heidi, and so on. The moral of the story is: don’t piss off 5 year olds, for they are unsubtle and slow to anger, and will blog about you many years later.

We started reading Robin Hood, but I might not continue with it and instead will move on to Kidnapped, which I love because it moves so quickly from event to event, disaster to disaster, covering a lot of ground — and because of how David and Alan become friends and judge each others’ characters. I wonder if Moomin will like it? It might be too intense and bloodthirsty.

milo

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Zooming down the ramps

Today we went to St. Mary’s rec center playground in San Francisco. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Its layout is a lot better in some ways than the wheelchair accessible playground at Yerba Buena.

There were 7 little towers with zig-zagging ramp walkways. The very gradual slope made it easy to get back up, and the towers made it interesting. Usually, I sit at the top of a ramped area and think “Do I really want to haul myself up that? Not worth going down.” Here, I could go up and down easily. The grade of the slope makes a huge difference to me!

At the bottom there is a nifty small hill (optional) to zoom down into the play area, but you can also go the more gradually sloping way on the paved path. The play area’s surface was rubber, so I went a little wild on the steep slope, which felt like a skate park. I raced little kids on their bikes. I got to hear the kids’ complicated game about being spies with walkie talkies.

It was nice not to be completely left out of the action. I don’t mind sitting on the sidelines and watching for a while, but it sucks to have to. You know when kids just take off and are somewhere else and it’s up a giant, grassy hill, and there’s like screaming or giant dogs or Martians landing? Dolores Park, I’m talking to you.

A fairly steep but not impossible paved path leads down to (I think) the urban farm. I would only go down it with someone to push me back up.

A very steep hill leads up to the St. Mary’s Gym/Rec Center, where the only bathrooms are. The totally not accessible bathrooms with hella narrow door just to get in, no rails, no wide stall.

There is only 1 disabled parking spot on the level area to park next to the playground. I guess only 1 of us at a time allowed in the park, LOL. So get ready to not be able to park — and to wet your pants. Otherwise, a fantastic accessible playground.
Accessible Playground

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Kayaking to the laundry room

We had a grand expedition yesterday for lunch. Moomin and I put in the laundry, then kayaked off around the point from our tiny harbor to a dock accessible only from a huge ladder. It leads to a locked gate on Middle Bair Island, which used to be “reclaimed salt ponds” and is now a wildlife reserve. It was low tide. We picked up trash from the kayaks with our nets, and swooped in to tie up to the barnacled, soggy lower rungs of the ladder. From the top we could see nesting Canada geese and the sparkly ponds on the islands, and across the slough to Highway 101.

Spring Break

We ate our snacks, carefully got back in the kayaks, avoiding disasters of mud & barnacle & escaped boats, paddled another half mile up the slough, then came back to the laundry room docks & put things in the dryer. Then, a quick trip around the point, the current at our backs.

Spring Break

It’s amazing to be able to move around so easily. For the first time I understand what people mean when they say exercise is calming and improves one’s mood. I feel glowing and powerful. My leg still hurts, but kayaking harder doesn’t make it worse, so I don’t worry about pushing myself too hard (unlike walking or swimming.) Though reading in bed with Moomin is good, I’m glad to be able to do something new — this is better than enduring a long drive and grueling wheelchair trips through crowded museums or the zoo (hills!!! ugh) things I can barely stand to do even though I want him to have fun experiences. So, boating! It doesn’t hurt!

Last night I went out again for 20 minutes or so and measured the current in the creek with the upcoming tide. It was 3 miles an hour – and I’ve felt it stronger.

The low tide trip with Moomin must have been nearing slack water because there was almost no current – no wind – almost effortless to paddle.

Moomin’s spring break is turning out great, with lots of reading and boating. Here’s the rhythm we’re getting into: I wake up at 7, work, he gets his own breakfast when he wakes up later, then we eat a quick lunch or pack “provisions” into the boats and take off for an hour or two. Then I work more. We’ve had some extra reading time together in the afternoons, and then he has hip hop classes till 5:30. I end up working late at night a bit, but as long as I get some good time with him that’s been okay.

Spring Break

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