Comic book "Truth and Justice" game


X-kids game, run by Sean
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

My weekend at ConQuest overloaded my brain with games. In the kids’ gaming room there were usually two role-playing games at once, and then board games on tables and a few kids messing with legos in the corner.

It’s radical and interesting to sit down with several strangers around a table, committing to talk with each other about imaginary things for 3 to 4 hours. How often people get together and “just chat” or hang out – but this is different: it’s a group creative process. It lets you get to know the inside corners of people’s heads.

At our X-kids game on Sunday morning, Sean passed out folders with character sheets and descriptions of some of the kids in the Xavier Academy. Elia chooses Bobby, the Iceman, while the other girls fight over who has to be the boy. The most talkative girl chooses Angel, her sister is Rogue, and the other girl is Kitty Pride. I’m Colossus and can turn to metal.

The GM’s bright purple hair matches my hair. There’s a lot of giggling.

Here’s what happened in our story:

All our teachers run off to deal with the Dark Phoenix. The crisis develops as one of our classmates, Siren, is kidnapped by her parents, who will force her to get the mutant cure. Bobby breaks up with Kitty and Rogue. Angel declares that he’s hot, but not gay.

Finally we started punching holographic airplanes out of the simulated emergency which… oh nooooo it’s a real emergency! We steal the x-jet and fly it over to Hammerton Labs, then Kitty phases us undergroud to the Hammerton basement. A woman promises to be our guide to the mutant cure stuff so we can destroy it. We find lab coats and bluff our way upstairs. Rescue Siren peacefully. But on the 16th floor there’s this huge scaffolding thing that holdes the antitoxin! What to do! Swinging around on pipes, leaping, kickboxing, stealing of powers, duplicate heroes everywhere, an evil dude with a toad-tongue… We kick their butts. And call Storm for rescue. “Oh… by the way… Storm… you can’t fly the x-jet over here to pick us up, because we stole it.!”

The game was heavy on GM descriptions which were often creative and interesting but were overdetermined. So a kid would say “I’m going to kick him, like, um,” and Sean would be finishing their sentences so fast no one had a chance to work it through – and then often he would keep speaking without a pause for 10-15 minutes. After I spoke up (a bit frustrated) Sean declared a break, and when we came back he asked for mid-game feedback of something we were enjoying and something that we weren’t. That was an interesting technique! The other players were very happy with the game… They loved Sean’s detailed and eloquent descriptions of the action and of the scenes!

Overall, I was impressed with the way the GM engaged the 3 players who weren’t paying much attention. They were standoffish at first, not taking it seriously and seeming likely to drop out of the game, and then at some point they got involved, thinking up cool cinematic combat moves. They clearly felt like they were in the story. Over the course of the game I noticed that the 5 girls playing put a priority on teamwork. They wanted to know what everyone else was doing before they decided what they were doing, to make sure that we meshed. The game mechanics of the system made that a little difficult, so we fudged by having short out of character strategizing discussions (like “What would be best to do? If you do this and I do that and she does this other thing, we could defuse the bomb and save the scientists and our friend.”) And then we went around to do those things. Some GMs would frown on this, but it was necessary with that group of players!

We walked away feeling that we had done the things in the story.

Another general observation: The three kids’ games I played in had a similar story element; our characters began in a school, with teachers telling the kids what to do. Then the teachers left, a crisis would occur, and the kids had to disobey instructions to make their own decisions.

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Kindergarten expansion

Our next door neighbor, Nukie, is being moved from a too-full kindergarten classroom into a new emergency overflow kindergarten. I introduced his mom to the new teacher, because I had just happened to meet her.

As we were talking I complimented how smart her son is (as well as being so friendly, social, athletically talented, and kind to babies) and her reply was awesome. “He’s going to be like his uncles, one is a professor at a university in Seattle, another is a professor at home in our country. He collects my English and whenever he does I say, “Damn, Nukie, you smart like hell.” We cracked up laughing… it was nice to get the chance to chat with her!

So I was thinking this morning about immigration and diaspora, and what it’s like to have your extended family living in several different countries. I looked up some interesting info. I know that our other neighbors sent huge packing crates full of stuff back home (as they proudly show me whenever the crate is getting full.) I also remember when their hometown library burned down and they collected money to send for it. So it was interesting to read about their country’s economy being a MIRAB, or based on “Migration, Remittances, Aid, and Bureauracy”. I also read some cultural information about philosophies of child-rearing (children raised to be extremely cooperative, social, and respectful of hierarchy, showing respect by anticipating and responding to the needs of others.” When I think of how Nukie and Moomin play together I can see that their socialization is very different – Nukie treats him as the elder, and Moomin doesn’t know how to respond (at least not very nicely.)

There was another complication to the kindergarten classroom shuffle: I heard the teacher’s explanation that there was a list of the order the children registered for the school, and the cut-off was 215, and Nukie was number 220, and so he got bumped into the new overflow classroom. But Nukie’s mom didn’t understand a word of that explanation and later remarked to me that he probably got put in a different classroom because he is too active, i.e. hyper. But to explain this with our language barrier was really hard! I’ll let his older sister know when I see her next.

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The bug house of hope


the bug house of hope
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Inspired by “Free Willy”, Moomin has determined to befriend and train a nest of ants. Sugar is all over the patio in patterns that lead to the trap, and then a tunnel made from a straw.

The tunnel leads to the “bug house” made at camp. People, I am not sure why a bug house out of two styrofoam bowls taped together with a hole broken in. (I think it helps if you write “bug house” on it so the bugs know they are welcome.) I guess a milk carton is too inherently gross, even if well-rinsed, and what else is there? I should think a peanut-butter jar instead with holes poked into the top.

Styrofoam bowls! What were they thinking!

Perhaps a pet tarantuala for Christmas? He’s speaking gently to the ants to persuade them. It’s breaking my heart. I don’t think they’re the sort of ants that like sugar.

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What not to do in an orca movie

After a low point of a certain kid being made to write “I will not hit people” and “I will not be mean” several times on some notebook paper while sniffling and muttering about Unfair, Bossy Moms, I figured the cloud of disgrace could not last too long.

So we watched Free Willy. What a tearjerker movie… There was a lot of crying all around, especially when Jesse was angry with the whale and was going to leave him all alone!

Moomin’s observation afterwards: “I have learned an important thing from this movie. Never, NEVER, bang on a killer whale’s tank.”

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Getting to sit in a fire truck


getting to sit in a fire truck
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Sometimes your mom chats up really cute fireman on the street at random and even though it’s 95 degrees out and you would like to go lie in the shady hammock sipping cran-raspberry juice and reading “Teen Titans”, your mom harangues you to study the gleaming dials of the firetruck, and you scuff your sneakers on the asphalt.

Then a terrifying burly fireman swings you up about 8 feet into the air to sit behind the wheel of the enormous house-sized firetruck where anything could happen. Horrible sirens could go off. The truck might start rolling. A fire might reach out sinister psychic tentacles to suck you right into some kind of unavoidable story where, like Pickles the firecat, you must help and be a hero.

I could see him imagining the fire, the disaster, the truck starting up and a nightmare of not knowing how to drive the thing. So, I took the photo quick and let him get down.

Next time I will just explain to the nice fireman that it’s me who wants to sit in the driver’s seat, courting chaos and imagining myself hurtling down the highway at 120 miles an hour with sirens blazing.

I would also like to drive a tank, and a submarine, and pilot interstellar spaceships. Sometimes as I haul Moomin after me on various random adventures or I demand he climb a tree or touch a bullfrog, I apologize mentally for the bumpy ride.

He looks happy enough though, don’t you think?

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Drop DOPA!


Drop DOPA!
Originally uploaded by libraryman.

Hey my fellow mommybloggers. We need to fight DOPA. I should have been saying this long before, but it’s panic time.

This bill would ban most of the interesting parts of the Internet in schools and libraries. Myspace, blogging of any sort, message boards, IM, anything with a social network component, anything that lets people communicate… all banned. (Which is not only a horrible idea but it adds a big burden onto the schools themselves.)

The next step is to contact senators who are on the Senate Commerce Committee. For California, that’s Barbara Boxer.

I’ll write more on this in a little while, but please at least read the wikipedia entry about DOPA.

Do we want the death of the public net, and of so many possibilities in education, to be blamed on paranoid, socially conservative suburban moms? No… we don’t… So we better get off our butts.

And someone should make a new anti-dopa poster with a scolding soccer mom holding a latte, instead of Uncle Sam.

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When your mom takes you to a conference


barcamp stanford
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Moomin, bored, at BarCamp Stanford, really didn’t care about social networks, attention streams, user generated content, influence brokers, Drupal, online community building, or any of that stuff.

He played listlessly with his Transformer car and a Bionicles robot named “Poison Ray” until he met another kid, a nerdy 10 year old who gave him the nerve to run up and down the stairs, exploring. They played hide and seek so well that we kept losing them!

My notes from BarCamp are over here at Composite if you’re curious about the slightly … only slightly… more grownup stuff. I believe at some point I invented the Universe.

Actually tonight while Moomin was being especially funny in the bathtub with his godzilla monsters and space starfish, I came up with a brilliant invention, possibly sparked by the idea soup of BarCamp. A bathtub made of soap! Just a humonguous person-sized block of soap carved into a bathtub shape! Then you wouldn’t have to have bars of soap, which inconveniently fall into the tub and get lost. Moomin did not see any problems with my Invention, and I didn’t enlighten him… with him as my barometer of human common sense, maybe I can get some venture capital.

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The truth about sleepovers

Just got off the phone with SuperT.

“Soooo, maybe a sleepover?”

“Great! Yes!”

*pause*

“My house or your house?”

*pause*

“My house.”

“Woo, cool! Thanks! I was just thinking how it would be nice to have a Saturday morning…”

“Haha, I’m a morning sex person too!”

“Oh me too. It’s not like it’s not possible, with cartoons and all, but that can be sort of tense.”

“You know it.”

We understand each other well… That’s what friends are for! Anyway, that’s the real story behind sleepovers. They rock because the people whose house the sleepover isn’t at get to have a raucous fabulous time.

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A half-baked invention and some poetry


pacman cookies
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

What about space invaders cookie cutters? Wouldn’t that be great?

These Pac Man cookies are hand shaped, but they would make some prettty rad cookie cutters too. Quick! To the Badger-factory where all my half-baked inventions manifest themselves, earning me millions of dollars!

Oh wait, there is no Badger-factory. Darn.

And so to poetry. Tune in to 91.5, KKUP, Cupertino, from 8-9pm tonight to hear me read a lot of poems and probably say some asinine, pompous things about poetry on J.P. Dancing Bear’s radio show, “Out of Our Minds”. Can I do it? Can I say anything but “Blargh!”, which will be interpreted – fortunately – as a mandate for young poets to get out there and BLOG?

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The evil of the snack, and meltaway moms


devil ducks at cafe
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Ill temper seized me today as the after-school pickup gossip was full out outrage about some mysterious Policy or state law. The school will no longer pass out snacks (which the parents brought each month – boxes of crackers.) Instead we must pack an individual snack for our child every day.

No one likes this policy. Now some kids will have a snack and some won’t. What’s with this law? Is it a law? What’s up? Why doesn’t the school, the district, the principal, whatever, communicate? Also, many of the incoming 1st grade moms didn’t know that Thursdays are early pickup day and they don’t have childcare backup. A bad situation. “I’m going to complain to the principal…” was the refrain.

“Oh look, here he comes now, let’s ask him about this stuff,” I say, and walk over to the dude, who has always been perfectly willing to speak to me. “Hey Mike, we were just wondering about this snack policy thing…”

Hey presto, it’s magic, five or six moms melt away like scared little birds. I am left to speak for myself. Fine. (Not fine at all, and it’s not the first time this exact thing has happened, and I don’t appreciate it.)

Mike was evasive at first and referred to how it was the Law. I asked which law and why doesn’t anyone say? I pressed. Mike busts into a grin and sweat, and explains that as part of No Child Left Behind, or NCLB, schools are only allowed to give food to kids under specific conditions and it has to be specific food that fills some kind of requirements for healthy eating. For example, nothing that has a sugar coating. “So, Mike, why stop all the snacks? It was all crackers anyway. Why not just have the district, or the school, set a policy?” Mike says they’re afraid of losing their federal funding (?! I have to say… yeah riiiiight.) if they make a wrong move. “So, the district can’t use its own judgement? They could, but they’re afraid to? ” “Well, our funding…” “That’s silly. They should set reasonable guidelines and say what’s acceptable.” “Well, a few months from now maybe the district nutritionist will give us a list.” “So until then only certain kids get snacks? Seems like a bad solution.”

I walked away at this point… A bit abruptly, which I’m sorry for … I don’t have any reason to get up the principal’s nose about this or any other issue. Obviously it’s the district’s decision not his. Mostly I just had to leave out of disgust with the other women who wanted to complain, but could not even manage to ask a direct question of another human being who might know the answer. The district administration comes in for my disdain at this moment for not having an ounce of gumption. I wonder what other Really Stupid Legislations they’re knuckling under at this moment? Since I’m writing smack about them I should probably call and ask directly.

I also get hot under the collar about people whose own negative body image leads them to stand around making judgemental comments about poor people being fat, and how we need to help them, because at home they just watch tv and eat fritos. “We need to have salad options in the cafeteria!” Hello! Whatever! Maybe 2 kids out of a hundred are going to eat a salad. Are they crazy? “I don’t give a rat’s ass if my kid eats an Oreo at school,” I said, in the grouchy, earthy way that makes me so popular in the capri-pants crowd. “I don’t need some pushy dieter telling me that sugar is child abuse. Give my kid a graham cracker for god’s sake.”

I am going to hell for posting this. Thus, the devil ducks and cake in the photo above.

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First day of school


second grade! a loose tooth!
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Second grade! I forced Moomin into jeans rather than the same ratty sweatpants he’s been wearing since he was three. You don’t want to *advertise* the fact that your clothes are still size 3T, now do you? Someday he’ll thank me for the deliberately cool back-to-school outfit.

The PTA fed us muffins & coffee.

I loved the scene in the classroom, which is mixed K-2. (Moomin’s one of the big kids now!) One of the parents of a kindergartener was videotaping it all. Other people had their cell phones out, clicking away. The teacher, a very patient person, let us all cram our giant selves into the pint-sized classroom. Kids were in a circle on the floor. She clearly didn’t expect us to be hovering! “Okay, well, welcome to your first day of school this year. I know we’re going to have a great time. Parents, thanks for coming, and you can pick them up outside the classroom…” Sheepishly… we filed out.

After the coffee and muffin gossip session, I went back to peek in the window. For no reason! Just couldn’t help it! If only I could live a day in the life… even by spy-cam… It seems like yesterday that I was in Mrs. Lloyd’s classroom singing “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” and copying poems about Autumn Leaves off the chalkboard. In a way… it’s not that I want to spy on my kid. I just want to know what the experience of the classroom is like today, and compare it to what it used to be like for me. It’s that I’d like to go back in time to Arno Elementary and have an adult perspective — on what we were learning, how things were structured, my perceptions of the other kids, the teacher herself, the exciting moments when it was pizza day or library day. What would I think of it now?

Suddenly.. with a pang of guilt… I remember how we all laughed at Timmy Martin when he said that the capital of Michigan was “M”. Thirty brutal little kids screamed “LANSING!!!” and his reputation as a moron was sealed forever. It seems so unjust now. How was he supposed to know? He was only 7 and “M” was a perfectly logical answer.

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Bookstock!

The Sippy Cups and the Fourth Grade Dads are playing tomorrow, 1-4, at the little park outside the Redwood City Main Library!

I love this sort of thing, the sort-of-grownuppish event, like Baby Loves Disco, that is all about the parents not wanting to be bored out of their minds.

So, I’m going to this for sure, since we can walk there from our house. I’ll be having flashbacks to those “gutter punk” all ages shows in the basement of the Cupertino Library in 1992.

Likely there won’t be any punk rock… it’s all about the boomers, dammit. I want to be the BIG one in the mosh pit for a change and this is my chance. Payback time – I’m still pissed off from that time that I got trampled by skinheads at a Black Flag concert in Houston.

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Atomic turquoise chaos at the silly hair club

Five kids, me, peroxide, and an assortment of “Punky Color”. We went wild. There’s tin foil in little shreds all over. Pink, red, purple, and blue splatters in the bathroom. My hands look diseased. It’s been an amazingly festive morning here at the Nuthouse!

So! Moomin has refreshed his flame-stripe. Squid‘s older daughter has bleached the tips of her shoulder-length hair; the tips are now midnight blue where it shades into brown, and “atomic turquoise” at the very ends. Merlin, who’ white blond already, has a network of thin bright blue stripes. Eliz. has the front of her hair dyed a mixture of ruby, purple, and “Little Red Corvette”, which I hope will dry to be a shocking vareigated pink. Her hair needs a lot of bleaching and I was perhaps too conservative. Sophie did not want anything in her hair!

While her mom was gone, Iz got into the tub with her clothes on and her head full of peroxide & dumped a pitcher of water over her own head. “Ooops, now I’m all soaked.” “You know, Iz, I think we are alike in that we both have excellent ideas, but then have not always through the ramifications of the implementation of those ideas.” For her, not wanting to take off her clothes in a strange house, and not being able to rinse her hair effectively in the sink. For me, not having thought through what it means to have five large loud children running around with bleachy heads; children who are not Moomin who will quietly suffer through a hair-rinsing in the sink while muttering “ow, ow, ow.”

They were all really good though, and I had a fantastic time. I loved every minute of it. If only it were my own mom who had to clean it up afterwards, things would be ultra perfect.

I liked the moment when Squid’s phone rang (with “He’s a Lumberjack” playing). “Oh hi Mom.” (casual-like). “Oh, nothing much, I’m just in Badger’s bathroom dying Iz’s hair BRIGHT BLUE.” Squawks from the phone and an evil smirk on Squid.

Then the Pilot came outside with a tiny barking puppy. Oh, you thought there couldn’t possibly be more chaos?

School starts on Monday!

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Ambition


chess on market street
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

I love to hear my kid say this one word:

“Checkmate.”

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Our little "Color Purple" co-housing fantasy life


minnie: now with more chickens!
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

While I’m talking about chickens on my block, here is a short tribute to my fabulous housemate and fellow “alternative” mom, The Pilot. She’s into fashion design, and she sewed this dress for Minnie, who picked it up today! It’s got chickens all over it, and black velvet trim.

Note that my sister has jeans on under the dress. The Pilot is unpictured, because she was naked. Our houses connect, duplex-style, through my kitchen and her front hall, and so I opened the door… “Can we come in?” “Yeah! But I’m bare-ass-naked!” That’s what life is like around here. We had a dress fitting and discussion of exactly what kind of polka-dotted spats Minnie should make. The Pilot also had strong opinions on red underwear, “or underwear with a bright red bow, right here on the hip.” I think it’s funny to have a seamstress and fashion designer who’s consulting with you while they’re completely nude. She’s such a Burning Man hippie!

Anyway, just to say that I appreciate my housemate. When we were first moving in we had a sort of complicated drama which is so scandalous as to be unbloggable, but we worked it out. Mostly. I learned not to be a big jerk, or how to be slightly less of a jerk, from that. I hope the lesson stuck. Today as Minnie pranced around in the chicken dress, I was thinking about how during one of me and The Pilot’s long processing discussions while we were fighting, I told her how if we were in a book, we would go all “Color Purple” with it and make up our differences and begin a fabulous business sewing people comfortable pants. I still can’t sew – it’s too bad! We don’t have a utopian co-housing fantasy life, and we do sort of have our snippy moments towards each other about the garbage or the yard maintenance or who left the sandbox cover off for cats to poop in the sandbox… but you know… I am grateful every day that we all live here and it makes life SO much less boring. Sometimes people say they would never share housing space because of the potential problems. I think that living alone (or in a nuclear family) also has its problems. And, as I never shut up about… I want to live in a bigger co-housing project someday, within the next 10 years. Big co-ops rock. I know their problems extremely well, but they aren’t insurmountable anymore than the problems of marriages make marriage impossible.

Anyway, The Pilot is fabulous. She listens to Jesus Christ Superstar about 20 million times a day. Her fabric collection would knock you dead. She can fix airplanes! She let me shave her head! And then there was that one black latex outfit she wore to the opening of The Matrix… burned into my brain. Also, she’s a good and funny writer – a good photographer – someday we’ll get her to blog instead of just the mass email reports. I still learn from her and her parenting, and her attitude towards life, and her totally insane creative skills (omg, the bra-making party!) and I like getting to meddle with her charming young sprog. Now to find some really great fabric. Pants, or a cute dress? Maybe a chicken bra?

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The chicken on my block


the chicken on my block
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Moomin didn’t believe me when I told him I saw a chicken in the street.

“A real chicken? A real, real, one?”

“Yes! I swear!”

We parked the car and ran down to the corner… no chicken… my child’s faith in my word wavered… and then, there it was. Strutting. Squttering to itself suspiciously under its breath. We sidled up to it. It sidled away. To save it from being hit by a car, we tried to herd the chicken into a small fenced yard, but it was far too savvy.

What will happen? Will we see it again? Why is it here? Is someone keeping it for eggs, or to eat, or are there fighting cocks in the neighborhood again?

The best part: making Moomin crack up so hard he fell over when the chicken ran across the street and I asked him “Why did the chicken cross the road?” For a minute we were inside a joke.

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In the kitchen with some blogging moms

I spent the morning with bagels, cheese knives, coffee, and intense gossip with Grace, Mary, Jill, Pam, and Beth at Jill’s house. We tease Jill about her martha-stewarty mad hosting skillz. Pam knows the tricks of buying cheese knives post-holiday. Mary says she never knew what a cheese knife was while growing up, since you don’t need one for a “kraft single”. Pam from Silicon Valley Moms’ Blog told me some old gossip that the Palo Alto PTA voted to give their official support to the Los Altos High School GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) who had an LGBT Pride March this summer (here’s some photos!). That was cool to hear.

We talked email lists, politics, schools, wealth and poverty, our general visibility, and (duh) blogs and blogging. BlogHer & the conference. Cliques/friends/being shy/encouraging clustering or small groups/meeting up. (Extremely brief digression onto Scoble/Winer posts and flak. ) Group blogs, examples of. Structure – editing? Or no? Editorial guidelines. Subjects for your bloggers, or focus, or a schedule, or controlling the “flow” of when posts go up? When your bloggers aren’t coming from a place of being writers, or bloggers, or tech people. We discuss the Mommybloggers.com model. This was all fascinating. I show upcoming.org and Technorati favorites and Bloglines and Ecto and Performancing to Beth, the CTM (Chief Technological Mom) for svmoms. We talked about our own backgrounds in computer programming and what it’s like to leave that, have some kids, and then be drawn back to that world but everything’s changed on top of any other “reentry” problems or already existing annoying sexism in an industry.

And more. We all talk at once, pleasantly. Ads on blogs. People wanting to do interviews. Print media. What does it all mean? What are we doing? What’s happening? Club Mom, ivillage, Blogher, blogads, Blogging Baby, Babycenter: how they’re structured and what they pay. People wanting “free focus group” info and wanting to pick our brains. What is the point of one’s group blog. Not that. But we still have to deal with it. How? What we want to create: Empowerment – face to face meetup component – pairing up with other moms- community – everyone having a voice online – public discussions in a better forum than email lists – local interest. But what about when you’re read by people outside of the area? What do they want / need? Stats. Comments. How to measure success? Who is reading? We talk about Technorati rank. Do we care?

We talk about diversity. It is good and amazing that svmoms is getting lots of women blogging who weren’t before. I mention kind of obnoxiously that I make a bad token lesbian mom because I’m married to a guy. Jill grins at me and says that I have an Interesting Life. We all crack up. Question raised, when your kid thinks they’re gay, considering home-schooling them to protect them from bigotry. I am pondering this and would be very curious to talk to other parents about it. I bet PFLAG has lots of discussion and advice on that issue.

At some point Pam talks about being the geek wife at conferences for years and what that is like and what it’s like for her now to blog from her own point of view about her life and her work (which is unpaid.) (It is much like the traditional unpaid job of “faculty wife” from my pt of view.) We all talk about this. What we do (economics of it) in support of partner’s job is not recognized as economic contribution, although it’s huge. To have professional careers, we need “wives” too. This is messed up – not right – society needs restructuring – we know other feminists have said this before a hundred times – how did we get here?

“We’re only *having* this conversation because a bunch of us have nannies.”

Discussion of spreading out fundraising efforts among schools in a district. The movie “From First to Worst”. Palo Alto schools are good for the area, but still awful compared to 46 other states (California is number 47 out of 50.) We talked again about wealth and how odd it is that no matter how rich or poor we are, we have been in the place of richer people treating us like their token poor person. Jill is the least rich person on her street! (!!) How we look to people in other parts of the country. (Rich and scary.) Digital divide & economic divide in Silicon Valley itself. Palo Alto’s “token poor” are grad students… Mothers’ clubs and parents’ clubs. I sheepishly tell Jill that I am possibly considered a bit of a mom’s club troublemaker – a loose cannon – fair warning. She can ask Betsy or Camilla for their perspective on me if she pleases! I don’t mind!

I have the weird feeling like we are diplomats, 3 from Blogher and 3 from their new thing, svmoms, and it’s pretty cool.

Blogging classes at the library? Everyone interested. I need to check out the library’s computer lab space. Hair coloring and fashion comes up. We look at Vox. Concluding thoughts – we talked about Mary’s wish to have a northern cali bloggers-who-are-also-moms meetup or low-key coffee hour and maybe this will happen in conjunction with SVmoms, everyone we know, everyone we read, and anyone from BlogHer who happens to live here. Outside on the way out, I warn Mary that this meetup could get really really big. She looks at me like I’ve just discovered my own toes. “Yeah. I think it just did.”

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Huh, weird, is that me?

A dorky video of me rambling in response to Daniel McVlog and his mcvloglificationishness. I had no idea who this dude was, but someone yanked me over there to “be interviewed”. So hey, sure, why not.

Later I absorbed that he is a soap opera star from some soap opera and now he’s on a sort of videoblogging journey, roaming around interviewing people at random. I like the idea and now that I look at his blog it seems very sweet: “to indulge my curiosity.” I can get behind that. He didn’t give me any prep, or warning, or introduction, like one of those canny Eliza-style psychologists, or rabbis, who always answer a question with another question.

So, I ramble fairly entertainingly, and am sort of hyper and fidgety. How weird to see myself doing that! Am I kind of like that all the time? Or was it special for the overstimulatingness of BlogHer, plus being unnerved by the camera (which actually I wasn’t… though I was mildly suspicious of Daniel.)

I always want to interview people working in service jobs, or minor civil officials… people always tell me interesting stories on the bus or in line at the post office. Imagine how much fun it would be! I especially like to hear the hopes and dreams of the owners of small businesses, and moms with babies, people who have had strange epiphanies, and the political opinions of intelligent twelve year olds. I could make the strangest rambliest baroque documentaries. McVicar is setting out to interview people and cover events of… just whatever he finds interesting or where he happens to be.

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Go Directly to Jail, Do Pass Go


at the courthouse
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

The Redwood City map at the courthouse city center has a fake Monopoly map. That rocks! “Go To Jail” is in the lower left-hand corner. The color codes stand for different buildings, with addresses and room numbers written in.

10-year-old Eliz. steeled herself for the unnerving trip into the courthouse, past the metal detector, uniforms, guns, and benevolent smiles. Suddenly I was aware that I looked dubious, my head freshly shaved and my mohawk slicked back – but that Eliz, in a skirt and sandals, hair combed, fresh-faced, clutching a “Google” notebook and a pen, was my ticket to the friendly smiles from cops!

A courthouse employee took the time to look over the public posted dockets with us. “Friday is a slow day. Try Tuesday or Thursdays, when we start jury trials,” she advised us. At courtroom 4A, we hung out a bit in the hallway…. Eliz very nervous at the sign on the door that said “No Children”. Some dude told us that was only meaning young children and that Eliz. would be fine in there, and it was fairly innocuous pre-trial hearings. But after a bit, the bailiff came over and booted us… the Hon. Katherine does not allow any children in her courtroom. She told us some other rooms and judges (especially the female ones) who do allow children as observers.

Eliz was losing it a little bit, though she didn’t show it much outwardly; disobeying! the! rules! Not! Okay!

Finally in room 2A we caught the tail end of some kind of hearing. Two resigned-looking prisoners were led off in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs. For the next 20 minutes or so we listened to some defense lawyers and the judge discuss the character of a convicted burglar who is now in another state, whose fiancee lives here, and who has letters from his minister and employers that he’s turned his life around since 1995 and the burglary, and so he should have probation not jail. Pre-extradition waivers were mentioned; more of his character; the terms of probation. I hoped Eliz. was impressed with the seriousness of the moment as this human being’s fate was decided.

I liked it that she got to see serious unsmiling women speaking with thoughtful authority, & respected. The courthouse is a good field trip for girls or boys.

At some point a social worker explained to us about a law which says that minor drug offenders can’t be sent off to jail but must go to rehab or treatment.

Later I told Eliz. the story of how I got arrested in an airport and thrown in jail for a tiny knife, duller than a letter opener and shorter than my thumb. I didn’t know it was actually an illegal throwing knife! I used it to clean my fingernails and look all punk & stuff. (The arrest was expunged from my record, so I got to explain the lovely word “expunged”.) I left out the part about how much I regretted wearing a miniskirt with no underwear onto an airplane (and then to jail.)

Then we drove off to have some pancakes. Eliz. did a “mashup” for me, which consisted of lists of many elements of my possible future and some arcane calculations. By her mashing and figuration, I will someday drive a white Toyota, will work for BlogHer (!), will wear miniskirts, live in a mansion, and will make $600,000. (A year? over my lifetime? Inquiring minds want to know.) Other elements of life that I suggested other than money, clothing, and car color were rejected: the state of my happiness, soul, relationships, art, creativity, and such-like things did not count!

It was a nice day with her. I felt honored in this weird way, and got to fulfill my promise to take her to the courthouse and on other odd field trips that she chooses.

Now I’m off to play Godzillas for a while before I go out to a couple of parties in the city! (The City = San Francisco.) Yay! Grownups!

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"Mom! I’m bored!"


first loose tooth!
Originally uploaded by Liz Henry.

Dude!

I just took you to the Japanese Gardens and a huge playground and an itty bitty train ride and the escalator at the fancy grocery store, and then the swimming pool with masses of other children whom you ignored. We played a board game, “Topple”. In between these activities you read comic books in an air-conditioned car. There was a brief entertaining math lesson. I let you buy gummy bears from a vending machine. Your loose tooth was admired. Your aunt gave you a Sacajawea gold dollar, just to be nice. We played gold-dollar hockey across the lunch table (where admittedly I was ignoring you in favor of extended wild cussing and ranting with your Auntie; this too is part of your accidental education.)

What I’m saying is:

Mommy needs to “work” now, in bed with the Internets, a huge biography of Langston Hughes, and a Spanish dictionary.

You may now enjoy all the rich, nuanced boredom of a summer afternoon. Kick around. Be listless. Start a project, getting out all possible supplies and every lego, and abandon that project. Leave mysterious signs taped to every door. Make things out of toilet paper. Such is your suburban heritage. Being healthily ignored for a few hours is an important part of growing up. Welcome to boredom. I hope it becomes your pathway to figuring out how never to be bored when you grow up. Boringness, in measured doses, will help your imagination.

That’s what i’m telling myself today. It’s over 100 degrees and I refuse to move from this bed until evening.

P.S. It is good for your independence and self esteem to get your own juice from the cupboard instead of trying to make me get up.

Love,

Your boring mom

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